ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
And introducing COMPASSION, ACT’s best friend!
Q: I am so sad for what I have lost. How can I get over it?
A: Give it time and be kind to yourself. Remember, this too shall pass.
We have just lost our lovely dog, Charlie. We shared our lives for nine years and during that time we had many adventures and he brought so much joy and happiness into our lives. When he passed away it was devastating. He was not only a dog, he was our dog, and we loved him. We miss him so much.
As I am writing this tears are starting to spill. It is going to take a long time to get over it. But that is right surely. When we lose something or someone we love it is right that we should be sad. That is the mark of our caring, it is the proof that we did care. Although we do not welcome in pain and suffering sometimes it is the price that we must pay for the joy and happiness that we have enjoyed.
Sometimes the pain is so intense that we feel that we will never get over it. We determine that we are never going to open ourselves up to such pain again and we start to withdraw, to shut down. That is perhaps a natural reaction but it is a pity. Because when we close down we shut ourselves off from so much potential joy and happiness. Is the avoidance of pain worth it, is it even possible? Probably not.
Human experience is full of all sorts of emotion, and pain and suffering is part and parcel of it. When pain and suffering come to visit, as they surely will, let’s be kind to ourselves. Let’s remind ourselves that this too shall pass. And let’s not be afraid to feel our feelings, to honour them even. When we have loved and lost there will be pain, there must be. But rather than trying to deny it, decry it, we could honour what we have lost and wear our pain as a badge of pride.
I am doing that for Charlie and this is a tribute for him.
I wrote “A BADGE OF PRIDE” to remind me of that.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
- How do you cope when you lose something or someone you love?
- How have you learned to deal with your sadness?
- What can you share that might be of help to others?
Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
POEM FOR TODAY
A BADGE OF PRIDE
It’s hard to lose something we love, it’s hard to be in pain,
And it’s hard to summon the energy to try to start again,
And it’s hard to just surrender and to let the pain flow through,
But sometimes, though it is hard, it is the best thing we can do.
When we try to block our suffering it just gets more intense,
And when we’re trying to deflect it, it is like it takes offence
And determines to remind us that we cannot it outwit,
For sometimes it’s simply better we just learn to live with it.
And there’s something rather noble in a pain rightfully there,
It’s the proof that what we’ve lost was worthy of the pain we bear,
And if we allocate it time and space, don’t try from it to hide,
Then the pain that we’re now feeling can become a badge of pride.
© Corinne Shields, 2018
If you enjoyed “A BADGE OF PRIDE” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
And just before you go …..
A final word from ACT, and its best friend COMPASSION ……..
When something awful happens Compassion can be our best friend, Compassion that we receive from others and Compassion that we give to ourselves.
During this sad time I took much comfort from the lovely messages that I received from friends and family. Many of them had gone through the same thing and so, of course, they understood. Letting others show compassion to us helps both us and them, so let’s not be stingy about it. A special mention to my lovely friend Denise. She loved Charlie too and I know how upset she was. We cried together. It helped, it helped alot.
Allowing ourselves to be upset, giving ourselves permission to grieve is not soft, it is sensible, it is kind, it is the right thing to do. So let’s honour our pain, let’s accept it and give it time to pass through. And let’s remember that compassion is not something that we reserve for other people. It is something that we can give to ourselves too.
How about YOU?
What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life? What can YOU do just for today to add some Compassion, some Kindness, into your life?
Just for today I will ………………………
If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? Is Compassion part of your life?
I am a student of ACT, I am learning about Compassion. I am on a journey. I would love you to join me.
With all good wishes