ACT and Holding Our Values Near

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  What can I do when my world takes a knock?

A:  Take time to steady and turn to your values.

When unexpected things happen of course we are going to be momentarily shaken, shocked, delighted, horrified, excited etc.  Our emotional reaction will vary according to the event in question.  If we like it expect good reactions, if not, well we know the answer to that one!

The important thing to remember is that although we cannot stop the reaction from arising in the first place we can choose what happens next.  ACT reminds us that although we cannot avoid the first cut, we do not have to make it deeper.  Accepting the first reaction is not always easy.  When we are reeling, when our mind is in turmoil, when every fibre of our being is shouting, “NO!” acceptance may seem a million miles away.

We would be saints if we just rolled over and said, “Yes, Ok, I am fine with this.”  We are not saints, we are human beings, fallible, imperfect, wonderful human beings.  When unexpected things happen, particularly unwelcome unexpected things, this is the time to be kind to ourselves, to exercise the same compassion that we would extend to our very best friend.  This is also the time to turn to our values.  When everything else is in turmoil our values are our lifeline.  They are constant, they will not let us down.

Whilst we are absorbing the shock, whilst we are coming to the terms with the new what is, let’s do ourselves a favour.  In the midst of the mayhem we can find a way out.  Our values will guide us to new beginnings.

I wrote “HOLDING OUR VALUES NEAR” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you remember to turn to your values in times of trouble?
  • Have you revisited your values recently?  Is it time to pay them a visit?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY


HOLDING OUR VALUES NEAR

 

Sometimes our mind’s in turmoil, there is so much going on,

Too much newness to assimilate, or something sudden gone,

An enthusiasm waning, or a disappointment new,

Something close to disappearing, something coming into view.

Yes, for now the landscape’s changing, and that really is the crux,

We may strive for equilibrium but everything’s in flux

And for the moment we must tolerate an unknown what will be,

So, let’s not fix upon an outcome, let us sit it out and see.

For what will happen in the future is not something we can know,

We may give it our best guesstimate, accepting even so

That predictions are notorious for being way off beam,

And even seeming drawbacks are not always what they seem.

And so, if Mind is in a turmoil and things seem for now unclear,

That’s the time to turn to values and to hold them very near,

For then we won’t be in a quandary, Mind rushing round disturbed,

Because when values drive our actions we need not be too perturbed.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “HOLDING OUR VALUES NEAR” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

When we are struggling with events in our lives, when we have lost touch with our values and are finding it hard to cope, the Six Core Processes of ACT offer us a wealth of choice.  What a tool box we have at our disposal.

If you want a swift reminder of what’s on offer there is a great overview at goodtherapy.org.  I visited today and I was so glad that I did.  It reminded me that even though I turn my back on one core process there are five more waiting in the wings!  Today it was this that resonated with me:

“Accepting one’s emotional experience can be described as the process of learning to experience the range of human emotions with a kind, open, and accepting perspective.”

I was so glad to be reminded of that today.  The first cut really can be the deepest if we don’t keep digging at it!

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Shocks!

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  I’m in shock!  What can I do?

A:  Use it wisely.   Take stock and reaffirm your values.

I suppose some shocks are pleasant, of course they are, the surprise present, the unexpected encounter, the lucky break, but generally speaking shocks have a more sinister implication.

In my book a shock is more likely to be unpleasant and unwelcome, something that comes out of the blue to shake my complacency and shunt me out of my comfort zone.

If you are the same then you probably view shocks in the same way, unwelcome occurrences that rock your world, at least for a while.  Unless we are pretty extraordinary human beings, and there are some of those around, first reactions to shock are pretty standard.  They may include some or all of the following:

disbelief, fear, anxiety, denial, irritability, nightmares, flashbacks, numbness, detachment, guilt, shame, helplessness, the list goes on!

All of these feelings are unpleasant, none of them are feelings we would want to encourage, but nonetheless in ACT terms, “if we have them they are already here.”  Struggling against them just increases our emotional pain.  Accepting what we cannot change is a tall order, especially in the first after math of a shock, but when we are willing to do so then we are on the road to something different.

That something different can include using a shock in a more constructive way, as a chance to take stock and reaffirm our values.

I wrote “SHOCKS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you cope with shocks?
  • Are you able to use them constructively, as a way to reaffirm your values?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

sometimes-a-something

POEM FOR TODAY

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

SHOCKS

 

Sometimes a something shakes us and it comes as such a shock

That we’re reminded we are overdue some time for taking stock,

And that because we’ve been too busy, too complacent or too low

We haven’t reassessed if where we are is where we want to go.

Maybe life’s become so crowded we forget what we once knew

That when we settle in the stillness values tell us what to do,

And that a little readjustment can a lot of difference make,

And when we let our values lead us then a surer step we take.

It’s a shame this sense of knowing isn’t with us constantly,

How that it often takes a shock to wake us from our reverie,

But although a shock’s unwelcome it can serve us very well

If we allow it to speak to us and we heed its warning bell.

And so if we are still astounded, still dumbfounded or amazed,

Let us use this shock occurrence as a chance to reappraise

If the route that we are choosing is the same route that we chose

When we let our values lead us, long before this shock arose.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed “SHOCKS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

In ACT terms leading a meaningful life means discovering or rediscovering our values and then taking actions which are in line with them.  This can be easier said than done!  Sometimes we have strayed so far from our values that we cannot easily remember what they are.  Sometimes we are so goal orientated that we mix up values and goals.  Doing this leads to a very different experience of life.

If we want to discover or re-discover our values there is a very good article at Working with Act.  It is entitled “Finding True North:  How to Clarify Values” and it includes some helpful exercises for “finding true north.”  I loved it!

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

just-for-today-ill-treat

 

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne