ACT, its best friend COMPASSION, and RESILIENCE

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
And introducing COMPASSION, ACT’s best friend!

Q: How do I develop resilience?

A: Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

Most of us say we want to be stronger, more adaptable, more resilient, and then when life throws us learning opportunities, we shy away from them, resent them, complain about them.

Unfortunately, the way to get stronger, more adaptable, more resilient is not going to be found by sticking with the tried and trusted, by seeking to stay put. Only by allowing ourselves to be tested are we going to be able to develop the strength, adaptability and resilience that we say we want.

Sometimes we don’t have much choice. Life takes no notice of our safety first slogan. It slams into us, demanding that we sit up and take notice, that we sit up, take notice and take action. Sometimes we just feel that the time is right to do something different. We begin to realise that if we want our lives to expand then we are going to have to start stretching our comfort zones.

Resilience is a great thing to have, a great thing to develop. For with it comes confidence, confidence that we are going to be able to cope no matter what life throws at us. This is why, although we may not welcome problems, set-backs, obstacles, if we can view them as learning opportunities we will not be defeated by them.  We may even come to see them as blessings in disguise.

When we look back we surely see that the times that we most grew were not in the sunny uplands of our lives, but in the difficult and dark times. We should take comfort from this. We came through then and we will come through again. And all along, our resilience is being fired in the heat of adversity. That is the pay off for our trouble.

I wrote “RESILIENCE” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones?
  • How have you developed your own resilience?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

RESILIENCE

 If we would be resilient, we’ll have to find a way

To transform the different challenges that face us every day

Into learning opportunities, and go to any length

To use them as raw material to grow our inner strength.

We might wish that life was easier, more kindly, more benign,

Long for days when storm clouds pass us by, and let the sun just shine,

But if this our wish were granted, not much growing would go on

For our resilience would wither if the sun just constant shone.

And so, although our first reaction to a setback may well be

A resistance to perceive it as an opportunity

To develop our resilience, to stoke our inner core,

Let’s remember that each challenge met helps us grow that bit more.

And it’s great to have a knowing emanating from within,

That adversity won’t break us, but will help us to begin

To build up our own resources, reinforce them, and renew

Our commitment to our courage, for we know we’ll see it through.

And so next time we face an obstacle, a problem, let’s commit

To embrace this raw material and do our best with it,

So, when we look back from the future from a place where we feel strong,

We see the challenges we faced were there to help us all along.

© Corinne Shields 2019

If you enjoyed “RESILIENCE” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT, and its best friend COMPASSION ……..

Those of you who are regular visitors to this blog will know that I am in the throes of self publishing a book. And I am having to practice a lot of resilience I can tell you.

Because I do not have the requisite technical skills, it would be very easy to throw in the towel. There is always something else to learn and although I like learning, when it comes to things technical I lack confidence and really doubt my ability to carry it through.

I would love someone to come along and do it for me, and of course I could pay someone with the expertise to do just that. But, the mean-streak in me says, “You can do this and if you can learn to do it once you can learn to do it again and again, and that will save you a heap of money.”

When it comes to cover design I surrender. I can’t do that and I am more than willing to pay, but the technical stuff I feel I should be able to master. So, I carry on. I carry on in the hope that along the way my resilience in not giving up will pay off, in more ways than one!

From an ACT point of view, I think I am acting in accordance with ACT principles. I hope I am. I am accepting my limitations where it is wiser to do so, and I am ploughing on to change the things I can. And I am letting my values lead me. This book, this series of books, is important to me, is in line with my values. If I continue to build my resilience I believe that will see me through.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life? What can YOU do just for today to add some Compassion, some Kindness, into your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? Is Compassion part of your life?

I am a student of ACT, I am learning about Compassion.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

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ACT, its best friend COMPASSION, and GETTING BACK ON TRACK

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
And introducing COMPASSION, ACT’s best friend!

Q: I’ve lost my way. How do I get back on track?

A: Refer to your values. 

I have been on a detour, a rather long detour. It has certainly taken me away from blogging for a while. It is good to be back.

Where have I been? Well, I have still been writing, just not blogging. I am, as ever, writing a book, several books, a series of books. I have so many stashed away in the depths of the computer that I shall be hard-pressed to recover them all.

In the old days it was perhaps easier. A heap of dusty note-books at the bottom of the wardrobe, stuffed at the back of cupboards, lost on the bookshelves. Nowadays, for the less technically gifted amongst us, they have to be resurrected from forgotten computer files, strangely named titles, multiple locations, all very confusing.

Sometimes the very confusion is sufficiently daunting to preclude trying to make sense of it all again. Sometimes the detours are so long, so convoluting that it is easier to forget all that went before and just start again. Consigning old stuff to the trash is tempting.

And yet, coming back full circle doesn’t have to been a sign of failure. It can be a sign of re-commitment. Detours may not have been the straightest way to get from A to B, but they are useful. We will have learned things along the way. That means that arriving back where we started is not at all the same. We are not the same.

It is comforting to know that whilst we may not be the same, our values are. No matter where we are, irrespective of whatever wrong road we are taking, we can always get a correction. The moment that we refer to our values we can get back on track.

A word about compassion here. If we have lost our way, if we have been wandering around in the foothills, not even aware of the mountain to climb, let’s not be too hard on ourselves. In fact let’s not be hard on ourselves at all.

We are back now, and if we treat ourselves gently, with kindness and compassion, our future progress will be all the sweeter.

It’s official.  Compassion is good for you.

I wrote “FEELING ALL DISJOINTED” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Have you been lost?
  • How did you find your way back?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

FEELING ALL DISJOINTED

Maybe we’ve been distracted, we’ve lost touch with things that count,

We’ve been lured into a detour, other things are paramount,

And now we’re feeling all disjointed, with awareness creeping in

That it’s time to re-align, and yet again start to begin.

To begin a new beginning, will it always be the same,

Will we never get the hang of playing the values driven game,

Where we’re looking to our values for the way that we should take,

Well, at least we finally can see this detour’s a mistake.

And so, let’s not be too despondent, for a detour helps us see

That the way that we are taking’s not quite right for you and me,

But it is useful for alignment, relocating from inside,

So if discomfort’s building up it’s time to get back in our stride,

And refer back to our values, for they’re constant, they don’t change,

So, if we’re feeling all disjointed it is we must re-arrange

‘Til our direction and our focus is adjusted bit by bit,

And we no-longer feel disjointed, for it’s all beginning to fit.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed “FEELING ALL DISJOINTED” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT, and its best friend COMPASSION ……..

Values are integral to ACT. When we are lost, feeling all disjointed, it is likely that we have strayed away from our values. When we re-align, put values at the heart of what we are doing, where we are going, then the path becomes clearer.

Sometimes taking a detour is good for us. When we get back on track it is usually with a re-commitment that this time we will follow “it”, whatever “it” is, through. For me “it” means actually resurrecting those computer files. “It” means turning all those lost books into something for others to see.

Another of the fundamental tenets of ACT is Commitment. ACT encourages us to commit to the things that we can change, the things that will help us to develop and become the best version of ourselves.

I am committing to self publishing my books. I am committing to learning the requisite skills and seeing it through. I have reached this point many times before. I have backed away many times before. I have taken the detour rather than the difficult path. This time I commit to doing things differently. My values have brought me back here. They haven’t changed. I hope I have. I hope that this time coming back full circle will be the launch pad for something new.

And, with a nod to compassion, I will treat myself kindly and gently in the process!

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life? What can YOU do just for today to add some Compassion, some Kindness, into your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? Is Compassion part of your life?

I am a student of ACT, I am learning about Compassion.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne