ACT and Setbacks

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  How do I overcome set-backs?

A:  Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again!

Nobody likes failure, nobody welcomes setbacks, nobody wants to fall short.  And yet, being human it is highly likely that we will fail, we will face setbacks, we will fall short.  We are human, we are not perfect, we will make mistakes.

Whether we are on a mission to lose weight, stop smoking, stay sober, stay clean, it is likely that at some time or another we will go off the diet, we will have another cigarette, we will fall off the wagon, we will have a slip.

How we deal with it, that’s the thing.  The great thing about ACT is that it reminds us that in the health domain, it is natural to experience setbacks, but these setbacks are only a problem when they cause us to move away from our values.

A slip does not have to become a relapse.  We can use a setback as fuel to get us back on the right track.  If we look to our values then they can help us to leave the slip behind as we choose effective actions in the here and now that will move us towards the desired outcome, to becoming the person we want to be.

I wrote “THE LONG HAUL” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Have you been able to learn from setbacks?
  • How have your values helped you to move on from a slip?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

So-its-OK-we-have-a

POEM FOR TODAY

_DSC6265

THE LONG HAUL

So it’s OK we have a set-back, it’s OK we fall from grace,

Because we’re in it for the long haul, we’re not in it for the race,

So it won’t matter if we stumble, it won’t matter if we fall,

Because as long as we keep trying then we’ll keep on walking tall.

If we base our lives on values, there’s an underlying seam

That runs deep beneath the mishaps, shining like a laser beam,

It will steady us through failure, make short shrift of goals we’ve missed,

And remind us life is more than things we’re ticking off a list.

And so if we have had a set-back let’s not see it as defeat,

Let us use the fuel within it our next challenges to meet,

And though we may be disappointed let’s look long enough to find

What it is we truly value and then failure’s left behind.

Because already we’ve an option here and now to make a choice,

We can select another action that will make our soul rejoice,

And then the set-back that we’ve suffered will soon sink without a trace,

Because we’re in it for the long haul, we’re not in it for the race.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed, “THE LONG HAUL” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

At the moment I am on a mission to lose weight.  I am often on a mission to lose weight and sadly, that means that more often than not my mission fails.

Like many others I have tried a multitude of diets, become obsessed by this or that exercise plan and succeeded at varying times to shed the stones.  What I have not been able to do though is to maintain the weight loss.  Sooner or later, generally sooner, the pounds pile back on and I am back where I started, usually with interest!

So I am willing to give ACT a try.  It has worked for me in other domains so let’s see if it can work its magic with weight loss.

I am putting my trust in

Product Details

So far I like what I read, but reading isn’t going to be enough.  We all know what we need to do to lose weight but knowing is not enough.  If it were then nobody would have a weight problem!  This book uses the psychological science of ACT to help us to establish a healthy relationship with food and promises to show us how to control our weight without the stress of dieting.  Sounds good to me!

I will keep you posted about my progress.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

 

Just-for-today-I-wont give way

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

Advertisements

ACT and Making Progress

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – An Online Resource

Q: I’ve got so far to go.  How can I possibly reach my  destination?

A: Taking one step at a time.

ACT is quite clear.  The route to a meaningful life lies in discovering our purpose and then carrying it out.  In other words, a meaningful life, one that feels rich and vibrant, requires that we discover our values and then do things that reflect them.

This is more difficult than it sounds.  Sometimes discovering our purpose can feel like one big head-ache.  Life was much easier pre-purpose.  Of course it was. Life was easier when we lived on automatic pilot, life was much easier when we stayed within our comfort zone and life was much, much easier when we just did the same old, same old.

Easier yes, but also stagnant and stifling.  Easier yes, but also generating a feeling of discontent, a feeling of something being missing.

If we are still asking ourselves the question, “What’s it all about?” it’s likely we have yet to discover our purpose!!

Assuming we have discovered our purpose the question then is are we willing to pursue it?  Are we willing to put in the effort required?  Are we willing to take one step forward and two steps back?  Are we willing to accept that there will be times, perhaps many times, when we will feel uncomfortable, frustrated and unsure?  Are we willing to accept the discomfort and carry on anyway?

If the answer is yes, then happily we don’t have to do it all at once.  Happily we can take just one step at a time in a meaningful direction. I think I can manage that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Are you willing to accept the discomfort that comes with pursuing your purpose?
  • Are you willing to accept that the way will be strewn with obstacles and difficulties and carry on regardless?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

TIP FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

image

ONE STEP AT A TIME

It all seems so confusing, ‘twould be easier to stop,

There’s a mountain that needs climbing and the prize sits at the top,

And we’re stumbling in the foothills, have we even come that far?

Monkey mind’s already saying, “It’s too far this Shangri-La!”

And it’s tempting to believe it for the effort that’s required

Leaves us feeling more exhausted than it makes us feel inspired,

But in all of this confusion, let’s not be in any doubt,

The retreat we are considering is not our best way out.

For already we’ve moved forward and a new place we have reached,

It may not have been a pretty sight but boundaries we’ve breached

And we know a bit too much now, and what’s known can’t be unknown,

It is part of who we are now and ourselves we can’t disown.

And so it’s better we continue in a forward sort of way,

Making just a little progress, and then bit by bit each day

We’ll emerge from those old foothills and the mountain start to climb,

And one day we’ll reach the summit taking one step at a time.

© Corinne Shields, 2015

If you enjoyed, “ONE STEP AT A TIME” please pass it on, and do please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT ……….

I first heard about this wonderful book in my ACT group and it is a story that has stayed with me ever since.

Product Details

Touching the Void tells the amazing story of Joe Simpson’s terrifying adventure in the Peruvian Andes.  Joe and his climbing partner, Simon, reached the summit of the remote Siula Grande in June 1995.  A few days later, Simon staggered into Base Camp, exhausted and frost-bitten, with news that Joe was dead.

What happened to Joe, and how the pair dealt with the psychological traumas that resulted when Simon was forced into the appalling decision to cut the rope, makes for compelling reading.

However, from an ACT perspective, what this story also illustrates is how taking one step, in this case one excruciatingly painful crawl and a hop, at a time can lead to tremendous progress.  In Joe’s case his actual survival depended upon his taking that next terrible step.  With broken limbs and a dehydrated body, Joe Simpson is forced to make his way down a treacherous mountain, to his base camp.  In the story Simpson talks of a tiny voice in his mind, pushing him onward when everyone else had seemingly left him for dead.

God forbid we are ever faced with the challenges that Joe had to meet, but in our every day lives we all of us have that “Joe moment” when we have to decide whether or not to take that next step!   What Joe describes is the very definition of digging deep and is inspirational for all of us.

Which brings us to the ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne