ACT and Holding Our Values Near

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  What can I do when my world takes a knock?

A:  Take time to steady and turn to your values.

When unexpected things happen of course we are going to be momentarily shaken, shocked, delighted, horrified, excited etc.  Our emotional reaction will vary according to the event in question.  If we like it expect good reactions, if not, well we know the answer to that one!

The important thing to remember is that although we cannot stop the reaction from arising in the first place we can choose what happens next.  ACT reminds us that although we cannot avoid the first cut, we do not have to make it deeper.  Accepting the first reaction is not always easy.  When we are reeling, when our mind is in turmoil, when every fibre of our being is shouting, “NO!” acceptance may seem a million miles away.

We would be saints if we just rolled over and said, “Yes, Ok, I am fine with this.”  We are not saints, we are human beings, fallible, imperfect, wonderful human beings.  When unexpected things happen, particularly unwelcome unexpected things, this is the time to be kind to ourselves, to exercise the same compassion that we would extend to our very best friend.  This is also the time to turn to our values.  When everything else is in turmoil our values are our lifeline.  They are constant, they will not let us down.

Whilst we are absorbing the shock, whilst we are coming to the terms with the new what is, let’s do ourselves a favour.  In the midst of the mayhem we can find a way out.  Our values will guide us to new beginnings.

I wrote “HOLDING OUR VALUES NEAR” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you remember to turn to your values in times of trouble?
  • Have you revisited your values recently?  Is it time to pay them a visit?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY


HOLDING OUR VALUES NEAR

 

Sometimes our mind’s in turmoil, there is so much going on,

Too much newness to assimilate, or something sudden gone,

An enthusiasm waning, or a disappointment new,

Something close to disappearing, something coming into view.

Yes, for now the landscape’s changing, and that really is the crux,

We may strive for equilibrium but everything’s in flux

And for the moment we must tolerate an unknown what will be,

So, let’s not fix upon an outcome, let us sit it out and see.

For what will happen in the future is not something we can know,

We may give it our best guesstimate, accepting even so

That predictions are notorious for being way off beam,

And even seeming drawbacks are not always what they seem.

And so, if Mind is in a turmoil and things seem for now unclear,

That’s the time to turn to values and to hold them very near,

For then we won’t be in a quandary, Mind rushing round disturbed,

Because when values drive our actions we need not be too perturbed.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “HOLDING OUR VALUES NEAR” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

When we are struggling with events in our lives, when we have lost touch with our values and are finding it hard to cope, the Six Core Processes of ACT offer us a wealth of choice.  What a tool box we have at our disposal.

If you want a swift reminder of what’s on offer there is a great overview at goodtherapy.org.  I visited today and I was so glad that I did.  It reminded me that even though I turn my back on one core process there are five more waiting in the wings!  Today it was this that resonated with me:

“Accepting one’s emotional experience can be described as the process of learning to experience the range of human emotions with a kind, open, and accepting perspective.”

I was so glad to be reminded of that today.  The first cut really can be the deepest if we don’t keep digging at it!

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Short-sightedness

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  I don’t like the look of what’s coming.  What should I do?

A:  Stop projecting.  Remember, we see such a little way.

shortsightedness

Our mind is a wondrous thing.  It is capable of such fantastic feats.  Analysing, planning, evaluating, judging, imagining, the list is endless.  And what benefits it brings us, our wondrous thinking mind.

But the mind is a double edged sword.  For every wonderful imagining there is a niggling worry waiting in the wings, for every hopeful fantasy there is a gloomy projection casting its shadow.  And we do well to remember that the mind is programmed to look on the dark side.  It evolved to keep us safe and so it is more likely to perceive threats even when there are none; it is more likely to seek out the negative than plump for the positive.  That’s just what minds do.  ACT reminds us of that.  We should be sceptical of the wondrous thinking mind and remember H M Tomlinson’s wise words:

“We see things not as they are, but as we are.”

I wrote “BLINDED BY SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you remember to treat your wondrous thinking mind with a bit of healthy scepticism?
  • How do you deal with looming situations?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

Solutions-yet-unfolded

POEM FOR TODAY

baltic_sea-800x533

BLINDED BY SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS

 

We cannot hold the tide back, nor else order winds to change,

When it comes to Mother Nature there’s not much we can arrange,

And so in time we just accept it since there’s nothing else to do,

We know that practicing acceptance is the wisest thing to do.

It’s a shame we can’t transfer it, all this wisdom we’ve accrued,

To a situation looming which is darkening our mood,

But resistance builds within us and we’re spoiling for a fight,

We’ve already made our minds up that what’s looming isn’t right.

And so our mind begins to harden, it starts taking up a stand,

There’s no room for compromising, fixed minds cannot understand

That solutions yet unfolded are beyond the ken of man,

We are blinded by short-sightedness, can’t see a master plan.

And it’s not easy this acceptance, this forbearance, this restraint,

Stemming words deemed justifiable, not moving to complaint,

But in the end it’s just a moment when we’re taking pride of place,

And consequences now unknowable we’ll later have to face.

And so next time the future’s looming let’s not be in such a haste,

Let’s be less quick to rush to judgement something isn’t to our taste,

And be aware the future’s hidden, we can’t know how ‘twill unfold,

Whereas the present is a province that is ours to have and hold.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed, “BLINDED BY SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

When I have a relapse, and it happens more often than I would like, this is the book that I return to.

Relapses can be painful but they are not the end of the world.  In fact, if we treat ourselves kindly, and ACT would certainly encourage that, we can learn a lot from a relapse.  It can set us back on the right path with renewed vigour and motivation.

This book offers a five-step plan for coping with painful emotions such as anxiety and depression and teaches the life-enhancing behavior strategies that help us to  pursue the goals we value most.  It shows us how to engage with and overcome painful thoughts and feelings with step-by-step acceptance and mindfulness-based techniques.  We learn how to let go of control, and develop compassion and flexibility.  It helps us to create a meaningful life even in the midst of our challenges.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

Today-as-something starts to loom

 

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Values Revisited

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  Something unexpected just happened.  I don’t know what to do next.  What now?

A:  Check in with your values.

Life is all about change.  Nothing stays the same.  When we are in a comfortable stage when everything is going well we want to hang on to it.  When we are in an uncomfortable stage we want to get rid of it, preferably as soon as possible.

Sometimes we may feel tossed about by life, at the mercy of external events which shake our foundations.  The temptation then is to resist, to fight back, to struggle.  We may want to deny the new what is but that will get us nowhere fast.

ACT reminds us that no matter what happens to us in our life, no matter what externals come to disturb us and upset us we always have something to see us through.  When we know what our values are and are true to them then no matter what life throws at us we have an anchor to cling to.  When everything else is changing our values stay the same.  They will carry us through.

I wrote “RIPPLES” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Have you discovered the power of your values?
  • How have you used values to carry you through?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

If-we-reach-out-for-our

POEM FOR TODAY

DSC_1159

RIPPLES

A sudden something happens, a seeming out the blue,

And it delivers something different and the world that we once knew

Is now reeling for an instant, we’re in unknown territory,

And we must give things chance to settle as they will eventually.

When a stone is tossed all careless then an impulse is begun,

It will gather a momentum, we must let the ripples run

And be prepared to wait all patient as the shock waves gather pace,

Until they dwindle in the distance and then vanish without trace.

Oh it takes a bit of doing, standing back, creating room,

Watching on from a safe distance as the chain reactions loom

And being ready for resistance, and resisting it as well,

And not becoming overwhelmed as all the ripples surge and swell.

Oh yes it takes a bit of doing, but if we our lessons learn

We can stand firm within the current waiting for the tide to turn,

And if we reach out for our values, they sure footing will provide,

So though the ripples swirl around us we can take them in our stride.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed, “RIPPLES” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

If you need some help in clarifying your values and differentiating between values and goals then Russ Harris’ video is well worth a look.  I have recommended it before but it is so entertaining and clear that I couldn’t resist recommending it again.  So if you are looking for clarification look no further.  Check out the video.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

Just-for-today-I-will stand firm

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne