ACT and Accomplishments, Values and Goals

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  What can I do to make my life feel more meaningful and enjoyable?

A:  Acknowledge each accomplishment you make.  Don’t be in such a rush. 

Image result for inspirational picture quotes accomplishment

Accomplishments are strange things.  When we are very goal driven then we may have to wait a very long time for feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction.  If we equate accomplishment with a conclusion, a successful outcome, then the road towards it can seem both long and arduous.

It doesn’t have to be this way.  ACT reminds us that if we are focused on values instead of driven by goals then our lives will feel very different.  Yes we can have goals along the way, things, accomplishments if you like, that we can tick off as we go, but they are not the be all and end all.  Underneath there is something more profound, something unchanging and solid that underpins everything.  When we identify a value, something that really matters to us, and make that value central in our lives, then any action based on that value will feel right.

In other words we won’t have to wait for a conclusion before we feel a sense of accomplishment.  We will be able to feel it every step of the way because all of our actions will feel important.  Life feels very different when we live it from this perspective.

I wrote “ACCOMPLISHMENTS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you have to wait a long time for a sense of accomplishment?
  • Do you think that living a value focused life might make a difference?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

 

Accomplishment’s a strange thing, it’s not always what we think,

Not so much about an ending, as the forging of a link,

A connection unimagined, a discovery so profound

That accomplishment has now become the breaking of new ground.

When it’s seen from this perspective motivation gathers pace,

Every step becomes significant, deserving of its place,

For when we are not so focused on conclusions lost from view

Then accomplishment’s potentially in everything we do.

And what a wondrous way to then proceed, each little step a gain,

Motivation’s flowing through us for now nothing is mundane,

Every link has an importance, there is not the same duress

For when we’re not fixed on an ending, we’re caught up in the process.

And so, let’s do ourselves a favour, let us claim all those rewards,

Let’s enjoy all those accomplishments that each fresh step affords,

And then as journey’s end’s approaching, we will know what made it great

Was that we treasured each accomplishment, we didn’t have to wait.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “ACCOMPLISHMENTS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

We do have a choice when it comes to deciding how best to lead our lives.  If we are overly goal driven then it is likely that life feels unduly fraught and full of tension a lot of the time.  If you think you might benefit from learning more about the values focused life then take a look at Russ Harris’ video which clearly differentiates between values and goals.

When I start to feel over-wrought it’s often because I am letting goals become too dominant and I am forgetting that values offer a gentler but more powerful alternative.  Head over to the video and see what you think.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Realignment

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  How can I make sure the goals I set are worth achieving?

A:  Align them with your values.

values

ACT makes a distinction between values and goalsValues represent the direction of travel, goals are the signposts we reach along the way.  Goals come and go, values stay the same.

Most of us use our goals to measure our progress.  We tick them off as we achieve them and then we set new goals which can be ticked off in turn.  Goals give us a measuring stick.  They are useful, they help us to shape our lives.

Values are more enduring.  They underpin our goals but they are not our goals.  Problems can arise if our goals are not in line with our values.  If we find that reaching our goals is less satisfying than we would have hoped, it may be that they are somehow out of synch with our values.  If this is the case we may need to do a spot of realignment.  Goals work best when they are in line with our values.

I wrote “REALIGNMENT” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you think aligning goals and values is important?
  • How does it work for you?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

If-we-choose-a-direction 2

POEM FOR TODAY

3500 years old stairs Crete-Gournia

REALIGNMENT

It’s not great to get distracted if we have got a goal,

For each time we fail to act upon a goal will take its toll,

But if we choose a direction, happily it’s always true

We can always make some progress, even baby steps will do.

There’s a case for setting goals, of course there is, they move us on,

We can see when we have reached them, we can see when they have gone,

But a direction is more constant, is more solid, is more sound,

With direction we can always take some time to look around.

And we can ask ourselves the questions that a goal won’t well receive

For it’s not just about achievement, it’s the way that we achieve,

And where a goal will be less bothered by our methodology

A direction’s more demanding, it demands integrity.

And so if we are setting goals and when we meet them we’re surprised

They are less than satisfying, it could be we’ve compromised

On the direction of our travel, which distinctly unimpressed

Says, “Realign goals with direction if you want them to work best.”

© Corinne Shields, 2015

If you enjoyed, “REALIGNMENT” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

There is an excellent article at mindfulnessmuse.com entitled, “How to Translate Values Into Committed Action.”  The author, Laura Schenck, MA, reminds us that:

“Once you feel that you have a clear sense of the underlying values that you wish to live by, the next step is to translate those values into committed action.  While possessing knowledge of what your values are is essential, it will mean very little at the end of the day if there is no action taken to live by those values. You must begin to make the behavioral choice and commitment to making your values manifest through your actions.”

If you are interested in learning more about setting Values-Based Goals, do visit mindfulnessmuse.com.  I shall certainly be returning.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

Just-for-today-I-will realign

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Acts of Kindness

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  How can I create better memories?

A:  Be kinder

This post was inspired by a conversation that I had with a friend of mine recently.  At our stage in life it is not a bad idea to start thinking about what we really want to get out of the next few years when, God willing, we still have our health and our faculties!

After the usual list of places to go, people to see, things to experience, she said something that really struck a chord with me.  She said, “Be kinder!  The kinder we are the more lovely memories we are creating.”  And she is right, isn’t she?  It’s too easy to be snappy and impatient, especially with the people closest to us, the people who just happen to be in our orbit physically and emotionally.  Being kinder means we will be constantly creating more lovely memories to look back on, memories we can be proud of.

As if this needed reinforcing I was reading a post by the lovely Gabriele at The Wellness Worx yesterday, and guess what it was on exactly the same topic.  The post was entitled “Achieving Inner Character” and Gabriele was talking about a book that she had recently read by David Brooks, a New York Columnist.

What I particularly liked was the distinction that was made between resume virtues and eulogy virtues.

(Brooks, 2015).

“David refers to two sides of virtues: the resume virtues and the eulogy virtues. We believe the eulogy virtues are the more important virtues. Many of us know this. These are the virtues discussed at your funeral—kindness, compassion, faithfulness, honesty. However, in our culture we are taught the skills and strategies to achieve the resume virtues—those we use to succeed in the marketplace. The things we view as markers for success—beauty, status, career, power. Many of us are clearer on how to build an external image than we are on how to build inner character.  David wanted to know how those people he had met built their inner character.”

If you want to find out more then visit Gabriele at “The Wellness Worx”.  It makes for fascinating reading.

As usual, this Friday post was also inspired by the weekly event that Carol hosts at Writeful Mind.  Feel-Good Friday has become something that I think about during the week, and although ACT and Acts of Kindness wasn’t really written with that in mind, when I had written it I realised it fitted the bill.

The kinder we are, the better we feel.  Sounds just right for Feel-Good Friday to me!

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Is kindness an important part of your life?
  • What do you think about the resume and eulogy virtues?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

PTDC0270

ACTS OF KINDNESS

We always can be kinder, it isn’t hard to do,

We don’t need a special talent, it just takes a moment to

Still a tongue that would be bitter, find a smile to give away,

Yes, it’s easy to be kinder and we can begin today.

It will save us those occasions when we’re looking back in shame

On a series of exchanges when we played the blaming game,

When a strident voice was shouting and suddenly we knew

If we asked, “Who’s that shouting?” the reply would be, “It’s you!”

So we’d do well to plump for kindness, gentle words that can defuse

Sensitivities arising, we can learn to pick and choose

Kindly words to quell a quarrel, graciousness to staunch a flow

Of a conflict just erupting, we can choose to let it go.

And in the midst of all this kindness there’s a prize that’s ours to win

Of a benefit reciprocal, a feeling from within

That when we choose an act of kindness ‘stead of going on the attack,

We are making better memories for when we’re looking back.

© Corinne Shields, 2015

If you enjoyed, “ACTS OF KINDNESS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

I suppose that another way of looking at “eulogy virtues and resume virtues” would be in terms of what ACT refers to as values or goals.  And they are different, aren’t they?  Goals are the tangible things that we can measure by success or failure to achieve, the signposts along the way.  Values are the direction of travel.

I like the way David Brooks makes the distinction between external image and inner character.  It is a helpful way of better understanding the difference between values and goals.  Brooks maintains that eulogy virtues are more important and enduring than resume virtues.  I think that ACT would share that view.

Which brings us to the ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Values and Goals

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – An Online Resource

 Q: What’s the difference between a value and a goal?

A: A goal is a signpost, a value is a direction

  

A goal is not a value, a value is not a goal. It is helpful to know the difference.

When we talk about goals, we are usually talking about things we want to achieve, things that indicate that we have succeeded, signs that we are on the right path.  So we might say that we want to get a degree, become a best-selling writer, get married, have children etc, etc. These are all goals. They have an either or quality to them. We can tick them off our list as we achieve them, or not. A goal is a sign that we are on the right path, but it is not the path.

A value is the path. A value is the direction of travel.

When we talk about values we are talking about demonstrating things that are important to us, showing what purpose is meaningful to us. So we might say that creativity is important to us. Well we don’t have to be a best-selling writer to be creative. We can find many ways in our lives to be creative and we can choose to act in a creative way right now.

Or we might say that having loving relationships is important to us. Maybe we won’t get married, maybe we won’t have children, but we can still have loving relationships in our lives. We can choose to act in a loving way right now.

So a goal is not a value, and a value is not a goal. Goals can be helpful, goals can be motivating, but if we are over-focused on goals our lives can feel pressured and restricted. Values, though will always be our friend. They will infuse our lives with meaning and they will never let us down.

In ACTivate your Life

Product Details

it is suggested that we ask ourselves these two questions about our goals:

  1. What purpose is this goal serving?
  2. What will it enable me to do that is meaningful?

The writers say that hopefully this can clarify the purpose for pursuing a goal because sometimes we can become so focused on achieving goals that we lose sight of the purpose.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How good are you at differentiating between a value a goal?
  • Has living a goal fixated life caused problems for you?
  • How has living a value driven life made a difference in your life?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

POEM FOR TODAY

The North Star

VALUES AND GOALS

 

It helps to differentiate a value from a goal,

For they serve a different function and they play a different role,

So a life that’s goal fixated will have different things in store

To a life that’s value driven, that has values at its core.

It is true that goals for many are the order of the day,

“What today can I achieve?” are the first words we often say,

And the list is unforgiving, for as goal fixators know,

There is always more to do when we let goals dictate the show.

And yes, we get a sense of order and a purpose to pursue,

In the goal fixated life there’s always something we can do,

And it can be most rewarding, as achievement often is,

But what happens when we don’t achieve and end up in a tizz?

For some goals are unobtainable, and failures we’ll perceive

When life slaps us in the face and what we want we don’t receive,

Or the disappointments stacking as another goal we miss,

When we buy into the goal driven life we buy into all this.

Which makes a case for putting values at the core of life instead,

For they’ll never disappoint us, they’ll just help us forge ahead

In directions always meaningful, our very own north star,

For though our goals may come and go our values just stay where they are.

© Corinne Shields, 2015

If you enjoyed “VALUES AND GOALS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT ……….

I am a member of the

ACT Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Community

If you are interested in ACT you will find lots to interest you there and I recommend that you visit often.

Dr Russ Harris has posted a great animated video there about

Values Vs Goals.

I loved it and it inspired this post.  Take a look.  I am sure you will love it too.

Which leads us to the ……

ACTivation Point!

So ……………………….

Just for today

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT. I am on a journey. I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

 

Corinne