ACT and Failure and Success

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  How can I cope with failure?

A:  View it as a necessary precursor to success!

Image result for inspirational picture quotes eddison

Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was, “too stupid to learn anything.”  He was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive.”  As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb.  When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times.  The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”  What a wonderful attitude!

No wonder Edison went on to become one of the greatest inventors of all time.  He didn’t look on failure as a problem.  He viewed it as a necessary pre-cursor to success!

Would that we all could do the same.  What a difference that would make in our lives.  Instead of running away from the risk of failure we would be able to welcome it with open arms, to look on it with anticipation as an opportunity for a lovely learning curve.

Unfortunately, if you are like me then you are no Thomas Edison.  Rather than regarding failure as a welcome guest you more likely grew up, as I did, regarding it as a dirty word.  For me failure has always been flooded with negativity, something to be avoided at all costs.  Rather than being prepared to try and fail, too often I haven’t dared to try at all.  With this attitude there is no room for the lovely learning curves that failure offers.  Our lives become smaller as a result.  What a shame.

ACT encourages us to be careful with language.  “Failure” is only a word, a series of letters, a sound.  It is we who imbue it with meaning.  My reaction to the word “failure” is completely different to that of Edison.  We are literally poles apart!  But when we invest too much meaning into words we can hurt ourselves.  This is where Defusion can help.  When we remember that words are just sounds, thoughts are just strings of words that we make up, we can start to take them less seriously.  We can become more flexible.  This is a good thing!

I wrote “LOVELY LEARNING CURVES” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Are you able to see the difference between a word and the meaning you give it?
  • Are you aware of the messages that you send yourself?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

LOVELY LEARNING CURVES

 

Let us have a new beginning, let us make a brand-new start,

Let’s approach a fresh whatever with a quickening of the heart,

And let’s send ourselves sweet messages of encouragement and good cheer,

Tell ourselves that we are for us now whatever happens here.

Let’s prepare ourselves for pitfalls, yes there’ll be the odd time when

We’ll revert to negativity, but we can rise again

Reinforced by lovely learning curves that each new failure brings

When we’re willing to look for the treasures hidden in these things.

For a failure’s not a failure when we view it in this way,

It is just another thing we’ve learned that didn’t work today,

But it’s on the back of failure that success comes finally

And if we stick around for long enough success we’ll surely see.

And so, let’s have a new beginning, let us make that brand-new start,

And let us not retreat defeated, let’s be stout and strong of heart,

Because we’re braver than our gravest fears, great things can still be ours

When we remember, we are human beings, with unimagined powers.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “LOVELY LEARNING CURVES” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

When I first came to ACT I remember being very impressed by the importance that it attached to language.  In fact, I remember reading alot about the difficulties that language can create for human beings.  Although it is one of our greatest gifts, our use of language also has the capacity to do us much harm.  Somewhere along the way I have forgotten alot of what I learned back then.  So I thought it was high time to take a refresher, to remind myself of what I once knew!

Amongst other interesting articles, I came across a piece written by Rob Archer entitled, you’ve guessed it, “The Dangers of Language“.  Just what I was looking for!  Rob reminds us of:

“one of the most powerful lessons within contextual behavioural science; that part of our lives (or ‘context’) is shaped by the words that we use to describe it.”

I found the article really helpful, a great reminder that:

“if we get it wrong, language has the capacity to sell us a version of life that is not particularly accurate or helpful and which may leave us feeling shortchanged.”

I have a feeling I shall be reading more of Rob’s stuff in the days to come!

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Success and Failure

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies

Q:  How should I deal with success and failure?

A:  Treat those two imposters just the same.

Image result for inspirational picture quotes kipling

As human beings we love it when things go well and we love it less when things go badly.  Of course we do, we are human.  This is a perfectly natural human reaction.

Having said that, we do not always know if our judgements of what is good or bad are that sound.  The benefits of success may seem resoundingly clear, the benefits of failure less so.  Success is lovely but it brings with it its own problems, and we know that out of failure can come great lessons, great opportunities for growth.

One of my favourite poems is Rudyard Kipling’s “If”.  It is no accident that it is one of the nation’s favourite poems too.   It speaks to something in all of us. If you don’t know it I urge you to read it, if you do know it, read it again!

Kipling talks to us of success and failure and reminds us to:

“Treat those two imposters just the same”

Wise words.  I wrote “SUCCESS AND FAILURE” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you treat success and failure?
  • Are you able to treat them even-handedly?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

 THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERA

 SUCCESS AND FAILURE

 

I love that line in poetry, reminding us that we

Should regard success and failure as imposters mutually,

For though one may come to visit, we’d do well to not ignore

That the other’s in the shadows and may soon knock at our door.

It’s a truism alarming, life’s a challenge for us all,

And so sometimes we will be walking tall and sometimes we will fall,

And the mark of our maturity’s not just found in success,

For our steeliness is tempered in the depths of our distress.

And so let’s not pull up the drawbridge, cower behind the barricade,

Let’s remember men of fortitude aren’t born that way, they’re made,

And out of trial and tribulation there’s a prize that can be won

If we listen to the poet, “You will be a man my son.”

And so let’s not rush quick to judgement as to what is good or bad,

Nor else be too attached to happiness, too frightened to be sad,

For in the flow of our emotions, if we dare to look around,

We’ll see in both success and failure there is treasure to be found.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed, “SUCCESS AND FAILURE” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

On this occasion I am going to leave the final word to Rudyard Kipling!

I have drawn heavily on his inspirational poem, “If” in this post and so I will leave by quoting it in its entirety.  Enjoy!

Image result for rudyard kipling if

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Failure

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  How do I cope with failure?

A:  Redefine it.  Dare to fail whilst daring greatly!

I have just read the most amazing  post!  You know how sometimes you just seem to stumble across something at the very time you need it, or someone rings you at the very moment you were thinking of them, or something crops up at the very instant that it is suddenly the right moment?

Well that just happened to me!

I have been thinking a lot recently about external approval, or more to the point I suppose, I have been thinking about my own over-dependence on external approval.  This is not a sudden thing.  I have known for a long time that being overly dependent on the good opinion of others is for me NOT A GOOD THING!

Yes, it is lovely when people think you are wonderful, when they admire you and what you do.  Yes, it is fantastic when the world warms to you and rewards you with its goodies, but if you are over-dependent on other-approval you are on a sticky wicket.  That approval can be withdrawn in a heartbeat, and then what?  Better far to learn to give that approval to yourself and in the words of Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States,

“Don’t be afraid to fail because it is your actions, not your achievements that make you a success.”

I could have quoted his whole speech.  It is wonderful, but I would far rather that you visit The Seeds 4 Life and read it in its entirety there.  The Seeds 4 Life is a fantastic website which provides both inspirational messages and personal development articles.  The concept behind the site is in itself inspirational.

“This site was created around the idea that your mind functions like a garden, with your thoughts acting like the Seeds.  The more inspirational or positive thoughts you seed within your mind, the more flowers you’ll grow …..”

The latest post at Seeds is entitled, “You are Successful the Moment You Start Moving Towards a Worthwhile Goal” – Charles Carlson.

It inspired me to write this post.  The reason why it was so spookily timely was that I wrote the poem “FOLLOWING OUR HEART” that I am using here just hours before I read the Seeds post! Great minds …..

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Are you ready to dare to fail whilst daring greatly?
  • How do you overcome your fear of failure?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

sunrise_01

FOLLOWING OUR HEART

 

If we crave the world’s approval we will always be in thrall

To a host of hungry masters, we can’t satisfy them all,

And although it may sound lovely with cheers ringing in our ears

We had better be prepared for when the cheering disappears.

‘Twould be good if we could slacken off these chains that would us bind,

Redefine the word “approval”, relocate where we it find

And remember it’s the glow inside that we seek to ignite,

And we do not need the world outside to set that glow alight.

We can do it any time we choose to follow our own heart,

Choose to disregard externals and determine when we’ll start

To create our own illusions, whatever they may be,

We don’t need the world’s approval, for you see my friends we’re free

To pursue a path unfashionable, if that is what appeals,

Cock a snoop at popularity and stick with our ideals,

And when we’re living our own purpose and immune to the world’s bribe

It is likely we’ll meet others and in time form our own tribe.

© Corinne Shields, 2015

If you enjoyed, “FOLLOWING OUR HEART” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

Actually on this occasion I am going to leave the final word to Theodore Roosevelt, because I am sure if ACT had been around in his day he would have been a devotee anyway!

I can’t resist leaving you with one last quote, my favourite actually.  This quote is famously known as “The Man In the Arena Speech” , and is an excerpt from the speech “Citizenship In A Republic” delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910.

Enjoy!

 

Theodore Roosevelt's The Man in the Arena:

Wonderful isn’t it?

Which brings us to the ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne