ACT and Unwelcome Visitors

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  How can I deal with uncomfortable feelings?

A:  Treat them as visitors.  Learn to defuse.

When we view our feelings as old familiar friends this may help us to make a distinction between ourselves and our feelings.  This can be helpful.  When we can put distance between ourselves and our feelings we are beginning to defuse.  When we defuse we are beginning to see ourselves as separate from our feelings.  Our feelings are part of us but they are not all of us.  We are more than our feelings, far more than our feelings.

When we fuse with our feelings we say something like, “I am depressed, I am hopeless, I am no good.”  The feeling comes to define who we are, it overwhelms us at the same time as it diminishes us.

When we defuse we say something  like, “Here comes my old friend depression.   I wonder how long he is going to stick around this time.”  It’s different.

Putting labels on our feelings can help us to separate them out, to put distance between ourselves and our feelings.  When we treat them as visitors we have a different relationship with them.  We can give them houseroom but they are only staying temporarily.  They will be moving on.  We are still here.

I wrote “FLIMSY FLEETING FEELINGS” to remind me

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Are you becoming more skilled at defusion?
  • Do you recognise when you are fused with your feelings?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

But-remember-all-these feelings

POEM FOR TODAY

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FLIMSY FLEETING FEELINGS

Our feelings come to visit us like old familiar friends,

Here’s the one we love to welcome, here’s another that descends

Like a cloud upon our consciousness, it’s heavy and it’s grey,

And once it’s installed in residence ‘twill likely stay all day.

And we never know quite what will come, they take us by surprise,

Life is seeming going swimmingly then sudden we capsize

And we’re drowning in a feeling we did not anticipate,

It just snuck up unexpected, now we’re in an awful state.

But remember all these feelings are just visiting and so

We need not be too attached to them for soon enough they’ll go,

For they are not things of substance, we can’t tie a feeling down,

And if we will learn to surf them then we find we will not drown.

And we’ll be free to take them with us no matter what we do,

They’ll just be there in the background ‘til they’re ready to move through,

And we will not have been held hostage, nor else given away our power

To our flimsy fleeting feelings that will change from hour to hour.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

 If you enjoyed, “FLIMSY FLEETING FEELINGS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

There is no doubt that some feelings are “stickier” than others.  We all have our own particular favourites, those feelings that seem to visit more often and stick around longer.  What to do?

Well the answer is always the same.  Recognise the feeling, whatever that feeling may be and use defusion techniques to unhook from it.  No it isn’t easy.  But we can learn the techniques, we can become more skilful.

Amongst our many old familiar friends Depression is particularly unwelcome.  If you find Depression showing up rather too regularly then you might like to check out an article at portlanddepressiontreatment.com.  Entitled “ACT Treatment of Depression” it makes for interesting reading.  Head on over and see what you think.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

Just-for-today-I-will

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

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ACT and the Value Driven Life

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – An Online Resource

Q: My life has lost its sparkle. How can I get it back?

A: Return to your values.

 

If we’re honest it’s not so much our life that loses its sparkle as we stop doing the things that bring that sparkle into our life. Yes??

Life doesn’t just sparkle of its own accord.  We have to do the stuff that makes it sparkle.  And that stuff isn’t always that obvious.

It might, for instance, seem obvious that a sparkling life would be full of life’s goodies.  Therefore anyone who has plenty of money to buy those goodies would necessarily have a sparkling life.  Yes??  Well no, we know that’s not always true. A quick look around the people we know and those that we don’t, celebrities and otherwise, is enough to show us that money doesn’t necessarily buy happiness. Well we know that really don’t we?

There is enough research out there to show that spending a lifetime in pursuit of increasing one’s spending power is not necessarily the route to the sparkling life.  Well if not money, then what?  If not a sackful of life’s goodies, then what?

In ACT terms living a sparkling life is much more equated with living a life based on our values.   Obviously then we need to find out what our values are, and that’s not always easy.  However, if we want our lives to sparkle then it’s important that we invest time to discover what is important to us, what we want our lives to be about.

Once we know that, then we can shape what we do, our actions, around what matters, our values.  When they match up then our life will start to sparkle again.

TIP FOR TODAY

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How have you been able to use your values to make your life sparkle?
  • If your life lost its sparkle how did you get it back?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

POEM FOR TODAY

Pebbles in the Stream

PEBBLES IN THE STREAM

Throw a pebble in the stream and watch the ripples run,

That’s what happens with an action, with a something that we’ve done,

It will have its repercussions, sometimes bad and sometimes good,

So if we are doing something let’s do something that we should.

It may be a call to action is at times best left ignored

When we’re feeling over anxious, over tired or just plain bored,

Or maybe we’re indecisive, and it then can do no harm

To withdraw for just a little ‘til we start to feel more calm.

And the question to be asked is if next morning we’ll be proud

Of an action that we’ve taken, and if not it’s disallowed,

And if we’re unsure of the answer let a value shed some light

On the act we’re contemplating, and we’ll soon know if it’s right.

And so if we prize loving kindness let us get it in our head

That a sharp retort or petty jibe is better left unsaid,

And if we say independence is a treasure to pursue

Then we’ll have to do the things that independent spirits do.

And the list is pretty endless, for all lives with values teem

And they’ll always know which pebbles we should throw into the stream,

And although life may seem easier when values we ignore,

It is the value driven life that always sparkles more.

© Corinne Shields, 2015

If you enjoyed, “PEBBLES IN THE STREAM” please pass it on, and do please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT ……….

It can be difficult clarifying our values, but given their importance it is well worth the effort.  ACT literature is full of useful techniques to help us to work out and prioritize what really matters to us.   Because I am still reading

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by Oliver, Hill and Morris, their examples and worksheets are freshest in my mind, but I have also used Russ Harris’ excellent book too.

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Which brings us to the……

ACTivation POINT!

SO …………………………..

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT. I am on a journey. I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

 

Corinne