ACT and Success and Failure

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies

Q:  How should I deal with success and failure?

A:  Treat those two imposters just the same.

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As human beings we love it when things go well and we love it less when things go badly.  Of course we do, we are human.  This is a perfectly natural human reaction.

Having said that, we do not always know if our judgements of what is good or bad are that sound.  The benefits of success may seem resoundingly clear, the benefits of failure less so.  Success is lovely but it brings with it its own problems, and we know that out of failure can come great lessons, great opportunities for growth.

One of my favourite poems is Rudyard Kipling’s “If”.  It is no accident that it is one of the nation’s favourite poems too.   It speaks to something in all of us. If you don’t know it I urge you to read it, if you do know it, read it again!

Kipling talks to us of success and failure and reminds us to:

“Treat those two imposters just the same”

Wise words.  I wrote “SUCCESS AND FAILURE” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you treat success and failure?
  • Are you able to treat them even-handedly?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

 THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

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 SUCCESS AND FAILURE

 

I love that line in poetry, reminding us that we

Should regard success and failure as imposters mutually,

For though one may come to visit, we’d do well to not ignore

That the other’s in the shadows and may soon knock at our door.

It’s a truism alarming, life’s a challenge for us all,

And so sometimes we will be walking tall and sometimes we will fall,

And the mark of our maturity’s not just found in success,

For our steeliness is tempered in the depths of our distress.

And so let’s not pull up the drawbridge, cower behind the barricade,

Let’s remember men of fortitude aren’t born that way, they’re made,

And out of trial and tribulation there’s a prize that can be won

If we listen to the poet, “You will be a man my son.”

And so let’s not rush quick to judgement as to what is good or bad,

Nor else be too attached to happiness, too frightened to be sad,

For in the flow of our emotions, if we dare to look around,

We’ll see in both success and failure there is treasure to be found.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed, “SUCCESS AND FAILURE” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

On this occasion I am going to leave the final word to Rudyard Kipling!

I have drawn heavily on his inspirational poem, “If” in this post and so I will leave by quoting it in its entirety.  Enjoy!

Image result for rudyard kipling if

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Passion

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  How can I discover my values?

A:  Explore your passions!

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ACT places a lot of store in valuesValues are at the very heart of Acceptance Commitment Therapy and identifying our values and learning to live by them, even in the midst of our problems, is the key, in ACT terms, to living a meaningful life.

Identifying our values can be difficult.  Coming to know what is really important to us should be easy surely, but it often isn’t.  With so many competing claims on our time, on our energy, we can end up living a life that doesn’t feel meaningful, doesn’t feel satisfactory.  If our life feels dull, if we feel dull, then that is a sure-fire way of knowing that we are not living by our own values.  Living by someone else’s values won’t work.  If we want our life to improve then getting in touch with our values is a good next step.  If we are passionate about something it is likely that will give us a clue as to where our values lie.

I wrote “Exploring our Passion” to remind me of that.

 HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How in touch with your values are you?
  • Are you true to your values, or do you betray them sometimes?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

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POEM FOR TODAY

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EXPLORING OUR PASSION

If we have a passion, then best be aware

That it’s not necessarily one others share,

For a passion is personal, give for free,

So what’s moving for you isn’t moving for me.

It’s a fact unattractive, not nice to behold

That a fire in my belly is leaving you cold,

But a passion’s not dependent on what others say,

If we feel it inside that’s sufficient today.

For a passion is something quite hard to define,

But whatever it is it’s not yours, it is mine,

It’s my baby to cherish, my precious to rear,

If the world turns away, it’s for me to hold dear.

So whatever we’re feeling that moves and inspires

Let’s respect for itself, not for who else admires

The outputs of our passion, no need to applaud,

If we love what we do, then we have our reward.

And although ‘twould be good to enjoy the acclaim

Of a world filled with rapture and shouting our name,

If we’ve come to a place where that need is no more,

Then what pleasure’s ahead as our passion we explore.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed, “EXPLORING OUR PASSION” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

I have been away for a month and for most of that time I have been internet free.  And I say that in the nicest possible way!

Without access to the instant communication that the internet gives us life can feel very different.  It can almost feel like going cold turkey at first, so accustomed, even dependent, have we become on its temptations.  And yet, it was rather nice, refreshing even, to be cut off from the demands of the electronic age, if only for a while.

Apparently Digital Detox Retreats and Unplugged Wellness Retreats are becoming increasingly popular.  If you want to read more about this rather novel, some would say alarming, trend there is an interesting article at Huffington Post entitled “Digital Detox Retreats”.

Although not strictly speaking ACT, I have included it nevertheless.  When we switch off from the outside world and go inside for a while we are practicing mindfulness.  When we practice mindfulness we are practicing ACT.  When we don’t have access to all the instant distractions that our gadgets give us we are increasingly thrown back on our own devices.  I quite liked that, at least for a while!

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

be-happy-2

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Little Whispers

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  There’s a little voice inside that’s driving me mad.  What should I do?

A:  Listen!

The pulling of the heartstrings, the stirring of the soul, call it what you will.   We could call it a reminder of our deepest values, but for today I am calling it “The Little Whispers.”  We know what it is.  It is the little voice within.  It has often been with us for a long time.  Sometimes we wish it would just go away and let us be.  Why?  Because it makes us feel uncomfortable.  It demands something of us, something difficult, something challenging.  It challenges us to step out of our comfort zone and take action.  Sometimes we don’t feel like doing that.

But ACT reminds us that our life is not just about our feelings.  Our life is about much more than that, we are about much more than that.  We can acknowledge our feelings but we do not have to let them run the show.  There is always something we can do to make our life more meaningful, irrespective of how we feel.  The voice within is a link to our deepest values.  When we take action based on our deepest values our life becomes richer.

I wrote “LITTLE WHISPERS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you listen to your little whispers?
  • Do you act on what they tell you?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

If-we-are-really-honest

POEM FOR TODAY

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LITTLE WHISPERS

New directions beckon us but we may look away,

Little whispers try to talk to us but we are deaf today,

And we’re heading down a one-way street not leading anywhere

Until we look around and wonder, “How on earth did we get there?”

It’s a common enough dilemma for the where we are can be

Not at all where we expected we would end up finally,

And if we are really honest looking back it is quite clear

We’ve allowed ourselves to drift along until we washed up here.

And it maybe we’ve been fortunate and where we are’s not bad

It’s just sometimes little whispers leave us feeing kind of sad,

Just a hint of something missing with whatever that might mean,

Or we catch a glimpse of somewhere else, someone we might have been.

And it can get quite uncomfortable the more we try to stave

Off the whispers with distractions, for the more they misbehave

For they are vying for attention and the more we go off track

The louder get the whispers as they try to pull us back.

And so if we are in discomfort, something not quite right inside,

And we’re trying to quiet those whispers, put them swiftly on one side,

We might do better to simply listen, let their messages come through

Before deciding what it really is we really want to do.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed, “LITTLE WHISPERS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

At actmindfully.com we are reminded that:

“The aim of ACT is to maximise human potential for a rich, full and meaningful life.  ACT does this by:

a)  teaching psychological skills to deal with painful thoughts and feelings effectively …

b)  helping to clarify what is truly important and meaningful – ie values- then using that knowledge to guide, inspire and motivate to change life for the better …””

It can be difficult to discover our deepest values.  Listening to the little voice within, “The Little Whispers”, can give us an important clue.  The more we develop our Mindfulness skills the more accessible our values become.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

Just-for-today-I-will attend

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Challenges

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – An Online Resource

Q: How can I win more confidence?

A: By becoming willing to take on challenges

It’s Day 4 of the Blogging 101 Course and the going is getting tough.  This, we are told, is when the tough get going!

Today’s assignment asked us to identify our audience and then publish a post for our “ideal reader”.

Who is my “ideal reader”?  Well, I suppose it’s anyone who wants to “Live Well and Stress Less”.  I should think that just about includes anyone and everyone!  So my target audience is pretty universal, but it’s the suggested solution, ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), that may seem a bit more limiting.

I don’t want that to be the case, but I am going to stick with ACT.  Why?  Because I know quite a lot about it so I am confident talking about it and recommending it, and I think it works.

Over the years I have tried a variety of different things to try to reduce my stress levels and, after much trial and error, I have come to the conclusion that ACT works for me.  This blog is selfish in one way and altruistic in another.  It’s selfish in that writing about ACT regularly reinforces its message for me, so I can Live Well and Stress Less more often.  It’s also altruistic in that I genuinely believe that ACT can help others to Live Well and Stress Less too.  If my blog helps them to do that then amen to that!

Today’s Blogging 101 Assignment also asked us to do something different, to include a new to me element.

Well here goes.  I am going to try to embed a video with an inspirational song that I love, which just happens to be about, you guessed it, overcoming CHALLENGES.

This is going to be quite a challenge for me!

And it is a challenge that has defeated me!! For now, anyway.  But I will return to it.  I am afraid I am going to have to make do with linking to the song, “The World’s Greatest”, R Kelly.  I can’t get the video to work after having tried for an hour!!!  Enjoy the music anyway!

A quick update!

The video is working!!!!!  Do click it, you get the lyrics as well as the song, and they are brilliant.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you cope when life throws up its challenges?
  • Are you willing to take the helm when the sea gets rough?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others.

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

TIP FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

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CHALLENGES

We say we would be confident, we say we would be strong,

Then resist the chance to practice when a challenge comes along,

When we get to flex our muscles, have a chance to grow a bit,

We become all agitated and we have a hissy fit!

“Oh no!” we cry in anguish, “I don’t want to deal at all

With the problems that life tosses me, the ills that me befall,

I want confidence abundant, but I didn’t realise

That when it came a-knocking it would come in a disguise.

It would dress itself in challenges and put me on the rack

And with each step I took forward it would seem I took two back,

And my mind is sending messages that fill me with alarm

‘Til I remember that’s its function, it grew up predicting harm.”

But it’s then I feel a confidence grow in me just a touch,

Just a fragile bud that’s barely there, it’s true it isn’t much,

But with just a bit of practice and a willingness to learn

I see a challenge is a chance for me some confidence to earn.

And although we didn’t want it, we will see when we look back

That our confidence got stretched each time we lay down on the rack,

And there’s something rather wonderful in knowing we can’t lose

Every time we face a challenge, and that challenge we then choose.

© Corinne Shields, 2015

If you enjoyed “CHALLENGES” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT ……….

ACT stands for Acceptance Commitment Therapy.  It challenges us to accept our thoughts and feelings and still commit to change.

This has been one of the hardest and most challenging blogs I have yet written.  I am exhausted with trying to overcome the video challenge!!

Any tips gratefully received!

Which brings us to the ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

Just for today I’m going to go and pick up my grandson and take him swimming instead of struggling with this anymore.  I accept that just for today it has me beat, so I’m going to go off and enjoy my time with my grandson.

TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY!

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne