ACT, its best friend COMPASSION, and TRANSITIONS

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
And introducing COMPASSION, ACT’s best friend!

Q: Why are transitions so difficult?

A: Because we focus too much on an ending and not a beginning See the source image

Life is all about transitions, nothing stays the same. Some transitions we welcome more than others. When we are young, we often can’t wait for the next stage, we can’t wait to be a teenager, we can’t wait to finish our exams, we can’t wait to leave home and make our way in the world. When we are young life seems full of possibility, we feel full of possibility. Nothing is set in stone yet. We can invent and re-invent ourselves, we can try on new identities. Later on, transitions may become more problematic. Sometimes they are thrust upon us. External events catapult us from our comfort zones, people come and go, sometimes unexpectedly. Normal life transitions can be difficult enough, but when they are exacerbated or delayed through no fault of our own, they can become very hard to handle. We try to hang on to things, to people, too long, we resist change in ourselves and in others, we focus too much on what we are losing rather than on what we have to gain. We forget that nothing can begin until something ends. Butterflies are beautiful, but they were not always so. They had to go through many changes to turn from ugly grubs to the magnificent insects that delight us. We forget that. Likewise, when we are in transition, we may feel uncomfortable, ill-at-ease, frightened about what we are leaving and what we are becoming. But transitions are inevitable. The most skilful way to approach them is with an open heart, trusting that we will come out alright, maybe more than alright. Transitions are where we grow, in that space between no longer and not yet. I wrote “TRANSITIONS” to remind me of that. HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you cope with transitions?
  • What have transitions taught you?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

TRANSITIONS

To glide into transitions, well now wouldn’t that be grand?

And to welcome in the changes because now we understand

That wherever we are now is the best place by far to be,

For the future’s only fantasy, the past’s now history.

But the present, ah, the present, that is where the action is,

Where our senses get to frolic, where they get to whizz and fizz

And be part of something wonderful, if we see with fresh eyes,

And can see that in transition we can be like butterflies.

And butterflies are beautiful, such hidden wonder things,

As they shake away their chrysalides to stir and spread their wings

In a cavalcade of loveliness, which delights all around

And we too can be like butterflies, if we will break new ground,

And stop trying to re-invent a past that now is dead and gone,

Or refuse to leave a stage where we now truly are outshone

And move on to where we’re meant to be, another story tell,

And be just like those butterflies and tell our story well.

For life’s all about transitions, in our time we’ll get to play

Many parts upon the stage of life, but we must choose the way

We enact them when the time comes, we interpret every act,

For transitions cannot be denied, and that, my dear’s a fact.

 © Corinne Shields, 2018

If you enjoyed TRANSITIONS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT, and its best friend COMPASSION ……..

It takes courage to let go of the old and embrace the new. In that period of time when we are in a sort of no man’s land let’s be kind to ourselves. Being hard on ourselves in hard times, being impatient with ourselves when we feel vulnerable, is not going to help. Often, when we are in transition we haven’t fully developed the skills we will need for the next stage. Of course, we haven’t. We are in the middle of a learning curve. So, let’s accept what we cannot change, our vulnerability, our fear, our sadness maybe, but let’s also commit to seeing this transition through. ACT encourages this and Compassion facilitates it, so let’s make use of all the tools at our disposal. I am in transition at the moment in several areas of my life. Letting go of the old, trying to move on to the new, and not feeling very confident in my skills to do so, is making me feel shaky and scared. But, I am trying to be kind to myself, and I am accepting my feelings, without trying to push them away. In short, I am trying to use the tools at my disposal. It helps.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU? What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life? What can YOU do just for today to add some Compassion, some Kindness, into your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? Is Compassion part of your life? I am a student of ACT, I am learning about Compassion.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me. With all good wishes Corinne

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ACT, its best friend COMPASSION, and EARLY WARNING SYSTEMS

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
And introducing COMPASSION, ACT’s best friend!

 

Q: What should I do with difficult feelings?

A: Learn from them!

Nobody likes difficult feelings, the ones that translate in the body as stomach upsets, aches and pains, headaches, skin complaints, constipation, diarrhoea, whatever! But there is no clearer signal that our feelings are trying to tell us something, something important.

These physical manifestations of something going on inside are our early warning systems, or more likely our repeated warning systems, our ignored warning systems. Most of us will have a weak spot in the body where our feelings gather, where they gurgle or rumble or shriek or whatever! We ignore them at our peril.

Feelings are evolution’s gift to us, although they often feel less like a blessing than a curse. When we are in danger, perceived or actual, our early warning system gets going, our physical reactions are instinctively triggered, as fight or flight hormones flood us. Feelings are the way that our body communicates with us. Without them we would be done for. Our feelings are our friends.

Human beings are programmed to move towards pleasure and away from pain. It therefore follows that when we feel unpleasant feelings we are going to instinctively want to get away from them. Being intelligent animals, we have any number of ways of doing this. We have learned to ignore them, deny them, displace them, distract them. What we have probably not learned so well is to befriend them, stay with them, explore them, learn from them.

And yet, this is what would be really intelligent. Our feelings flow through us with all sorts of useful information to help us to move more skilfully through the world. Developing a different relationship with our feelings can be the start of something wonderful.

I wrote “EARLY WARNING SYSTEMS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you cope with difficult feelings?
  • Are you learning to develop a different, a more friendly relationship with your feelings?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

EARLY WARNING SYSTEMS

Let’s not deny our feelings, nor else mix them up with facts,

Let’s acknowledge our sensations, how our body now reacts,

But let’s not get into a panic if there’s something we abhor,

For we will find the more we struggle then we’ll feel the feeling more.

It’s more skilful to accept it, to explore it, get to know

Where it is within our body that our feelings tend to show,

Oh, for me it is my tummy, gastroenteritis gone berserk,

I don’t like it when it happens, but I’m learning not to shirk

Away from messages it sends me, for it has something to say,

It alerts me to a something that is going wrong today,

And though I wish that it were other, would I really wish it gone?

It’s my early warning system, which I’d miss if I had none.

And so, although we may have feelings we deem difficult to bear,

Let’s remember they alert us to the dangers everywhere,

And if we get a bit more skilful, we can learn a trick or two

To help a feeling that’s unhelpful find a way to move on through.

© Corinne Shields, 2018

If you enjoyed “EARLY WARNING SYSTEMS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT, and its best friend COMPASSION ……..

At the heart if ACT lies Mindfulness. At the heart of Mindfulness lies Awareness, a special way of noticing what is going on internally and externally. When we are being mindful we are simply noticing what is happening in a spirit of curiosity. We are not making judgments, we are learning to be with the what is, accepting it just as it is, without wanting to change it in any way.

This is a great way to develop a new and fruitful relationship with our thoughts and feelings. When feelings arise, as they will, we just notice them, explore them, really feel what they feel like, where they are located in our body, their texture, their shape.

Likewise with our thoughts. When thoughts arise, as they will, we watch them come and we let them go. We don’t get entangled with them, make them “sticky”. ACT has the potential to help us to improve our mental health. These are some of the powerful techniques that it uses to do so.

For some lovely quotes with an ACT theme visit the ACBS website. Here’s one to both start with and leave you with.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life? What can YOU do just for today to add some Compassion, some Kindness, into your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? Is Compassion part of your life?

I am a student of ACT, I am learning about Compassion.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT, its best friend COMPASSION, and A TRIBUTE TO CHARLIE

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
And introducing COMPASSION, ACT’s best friend!

 

Q: I am so sad for what I have lost.  How can I get over it?

A: Give it time and be kind to yourself.  Remember, this too shall pass.

Image result for inspirational picture quotes kahlil gibran suffering and delight

We have just lost our lovely dog, Charlie.  We shared our lives for nine years and during that time we had many adventures and he brought so much joy and happiness into our lives.  When he passed away it was devastating.  He was not only a dog, he was our dog, and we loved him.  We miss him so much.

As I am writing this tears are starting to spill.  It is going to take a long time to get over it.  But that is right surely.  When we lose something or someone we love it is right that we should be sad.  That is the mark of our caring, it is the proof that we did care.  Although we do not welcome in pain and suffering sometimes it is the price that we must pay for the joy and happiness that we have enjoyed.

Sometimes the pain is so intense that we feel that we will never get over it.  We determine that we are never going to open ourselves up to such pain again and we start to withdraw, to shut down.  That is perhaps a natural reaction but it is a pity.  Because when we close down we shut ourselves off from so much potential joy and happiness.  Is the avoidance of pain worth it, is it even possible?  Probably not.

Human experience is full of all sorts of emotion, and pain and suffering is part and parcel of it.  When pain and suffering come to visit, as they surely will, let’s be kind to ourselves.  Let’s remind ourselves that this too shall pass.  And let’s not be afraid to feel our feelings, to honour them even.  When we have loved and lost there will be pain, there must be.  But rather than trying to deny it, decry it, we could honour what we have lost and wear our pain as a badge of pride.

I am doing that for Charlie and this is a tribute for him.

I wrote “A BADGE OF PRIDE” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you cope when you lose something or someone you love?
  • How have you learned to deal with your sadness?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

A BADGE OF PRIDE

 

It’s hard to lose something we love, it’s hard to be in pain,

And it’s hard to summon the energy to try to start again,

And it’s hard to just surrender and to let the pain flow through,

But sometimes, though it is hard, it is the best thing we can do.

When we try to block our suffering it just gets more intense,

And when we’re trying to deflect it, it is like it takes offence

And determines to remind us that we cannot it outwit,

For sometimes it’s simply better we just learn to live with it.

And there’s something rather noble in a pain rightfully there,

It’s the proof that what we’ve lost was worthy of the pain we bear,

And if we allocate it time and space, don’t try from it to hide,

Then the pain that we’re now feeling can become a badge of pride.

 

© Corinne Shields, 2018

If you enjoyed “A BADGE OF PRIDE” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT, and its best friend COMPASSION ……..

When something awful happens Compassion can be our best friend, Compassion that we receive from others and Compassion that we give to ourselves.

During this sad time I took much comfort from the lovely messages that I received from friends and family.  Many of them had gone through the same thing and so, of course, they understood.  Letting others show compassion to us helps both us and them, so let’s not be stingy about it.  A special mention to my lovely friend Denise.  She loved Charlie too and I know how upset she was.  We cried together.  It helped, it helped alot.

Allowing ourselves to be upset, giving ourselves permission to grieve is not soft, it is sensible, it is kind, it is the right thing to do.  So let’s honour our pain, let’s accept it and give it time to pass through.  And let’s remember that compassion is not something that we reserve for other people.  It is something that we can give to ourselves too.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life? What can YOU do just for today to add some Compassion, some Kindness, into your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? Is Compassion part of your life?

I am a student of ACT, I am learning about Compassion.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Expansion

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  How can I reduce my stress?

A:  Acknowledge it, accept it and expand your life!

Image result for inspirational picture quotes stress

When things happen to stress us out it is very easy to give in, give up, dwell on what’s happening and go round and round in endless spirals trying to force solutions.  We may get so caught up in our thinking that we literally can’t fight our way out.  The more we think the more confused we get.  Feelings surge through us that we can’t control and we feel worn out, weary and helpless.

Stress is part of all of our lives.  Some is real and some is imagined.  Some we take in our stride and some we feel unable to manage.  Stress is everywhere.  It is not going away any time soon.  ACT gives us some useful tools to deal with our stress.  It doesn’t pretend that it doesn’t exist, it doesn’t promise miracle cures, it doesn’t encourage us to deny it, or decry it or fight it or flee from it.

What ACT does encourage us to do is to acknowledge it and accept it.  Easier said than done I hear you say.  And it is true it is not easy to accept something we don’t like, didn’t ask for and want gone.  But sometimes acceptance is all we can do.  And with acceptance comes a certain peace.  When we stop struggling to change what we cannot change then we are free to concentrate on what we can change.  There is power here instead of powerlessness, there is strength instead of weakness, there is hope instead of despair.

Expansion is the key to reducing our stress.  When we start to focus on changing what we can and start doing it then our lives get bigger.  As our lives begin to expand our stress starts to shrink.

I wrote “EXPANSION” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you deal with stress?
  • Do you think expansion might help you?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

 

POEM FOR TODAY

EXPANSION

Living well and stressing less, well wouldn’t that be fine,

To accept our thoughts and feelings, and not let them undermine

An activity we’ve scheduled, an event that we have planned,

For we’re learning living well means that we let our lives expand.

We make space for thoughts and feelings, we allow them to pass through,

If we don’t put up a fight this is what thoughts and feelings do,

And we watch them from a vantage point, creator of it all,

They parade in all their finery, but we have the last call.

For we’ve learned we’re not their captives, we have choices, we can say,

“Whilst I thank you for your company, I’ve other plans today,

And although you weren’t invited, please feel free to join me now,

I can’t spare you much attention, but I’ll squeeze you in somehow.”

And when we are in the driving seat, and looking all around,

Tuning in to all our senses, bent on going where we’re bound,

Then though thoughts and feelings mutter this was not their plan at all,

We remind them they’re just visiting, it’s we have the last call.

And it’s quite a revelation that this choice is ours to take,

That we needn’t be held hostage by demands our feelings make,

For although we might prefer we could eliminate all stress,

The truth is it’s expansion helps us live well and stress less.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “EXPANSION” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

I always like to recommend something ACT related in this section and normally I would ensure that whatever I recommend is something I have already sampled.  I haven’t had a chance to look at today’s recommendation but the title caught my attention and seemed so relevant to today’s post that I am recommending it anyway.

I’ll be having a look at it myself as I have a feeling it is going to be a good read.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

 

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Honouring our Feelings

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q: What should I do with uncomfortable feelings?

A:  Honour them.  Pay attention to the messages they send.

We all love lovely feelings.  Of course we do.  They make us feel good, flood us with a sense of well-being, and make us feel glad to be alive.  It’s great when our whole system is in harmony.  We feel like we are on top of the world and that’s where we want to stay.

Unfortunately, feelings aren’t like that.  They are fleeting, they come and go,  often appearing out of nowhere and leaving just as suddenly.  That’s the nature of feelings.  We can no more hang on to our good feelings than demand that our bad feelings either don’t come at all, or if they must, then they don’t hang around for too long.

We can spend a long time battling with our feelings, trying to change the ones we don’t like and trying to keep the ones we do.  It is an energy sapping, largely fruitless exercise.  ACT suggests another approach.  ACT suggests that we practice acceptance.  When we practice acceptance of our feelings, good, bad and indifferent we are able to conserve our energy for other more fruitful activities.

ACT also encourages us to develop a different relationship with our feelings. This is where “Honouring our Feelings” comes in.  Our feelings are powerful clues to things we may need to be aware of in our lives.  Gut reactions are nature’s way of alerting us to things we may need to pay attention to.  Our feelings are there to help us, our evolutionary friend.  When we view them in this way, rather than doing battle with them, we can learn to honour them, listen to them, and then decide whether they are relevant or not.

I wrote “HONOURING OUR FEELINGS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you cope with your uncomfortable feelings?
  • Are you learning that accepting and honouring them might be a more useful strategy?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

HONOURING OUR FEELINGS

 

Let’s learn to honour our feelings, even when they agitate,

And let’s look on them with kindness, even when they angst create,

For they’re with us for a reason, they are trying to keep us safe,

And so, let’s give them space sufficient even when they jar and chafe.

There are times when feelings flood us with sensations of alarm,

When our heart starts pounding madly ‘til we feel ‘twill do us harm,

But it’s just our evolution sending messages so slick

That we forget it’s just a wondrous part of all that makes us tick.

And we’d wish that it were other, that we’d always feel just fine,

But our system is much wiser, it is able to define

Situations masquerading as a danger or a threat,

It won’t leave us unprotected, it will situations vet.

And this may bring some discomfort, but how fortunate are we

To possess our own antennae of such sensitivity

That they work on automatic, even when our mind’s elsewhere,

They are always working for us, always scanning everywhere.

And at times it can be wearing, we may wish they’d take a break,

Let us be a while oblivious to the fuss that they create,

But in the end, we know their value is immeasurable, and so

Even though they cause discomfort, we’ll just let them come and go.

 

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “HONOURING OUR FEELINGS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you. And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

I have been away for a while.  For the last few weeks I have not had instant access to the internet and, being out of the loop, so to speak, I have had more time for reading and writing, more time for reflection.  It has been a great time, rather like being on a retreat.

During that time though, things happened that I had not been expecting, things that upset me and caused alot of uncomfortable feelings.  This poem is one consequence of those feelings.  Something that has really helped me with ACT is learning to use the power that strong emotions generate in a creative way.

The last few weeks have been very productive creatively.  When we are forced out of our normal routines, when we are cut off from the instant communications that the internet offers, there is room for other stuff to come in.  ACT has helped me alot during this time out.  I needed it and it did not fail.  I hope that it will do the same for you too.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU? What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Holding Our Values Near

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  What can I do when my world takes a knock?

A:  Take time to steady and turn to your values.

When unexpected things happen of course we are going to be momentarily shaken, shocked, delighted, horrified, excited etc.  Our emotional reaction will vary according to the event in question.  If we like it expect good reactions, if not, well we know the answer to that one!

The important thing to remember is that although we cannot stop the reaction from arising in the first place we can choose what happens next.  ACT reminds us that although we cannot avoid the first cut, we do not have to make it deeper.  Accepting the first reaction is not always easy.  When we are reeling, when our mind is in turmoil, when every fibre of our being is shouting, “NO!” acceptance may seem a million miles away.

We would be saints if we just rolled over and said, “Yes, Ok, I am fine with this.”  We are not saints, we are human beings, fallible, imperfect, wonderful human beings.  When unexpected things happen, particularly unwelcome unexpected things, this is the time to be kind to ourselves, to exercise the same compassion that we would extend to our very best friend.  This is also the time to turn to our values.  When everything else is in turmoil our values are our lifeline.  They are constant, they will not let us down.

Whilst we are absorbing the shock, whilst we are coming to the terms with the new what is, let’s do ourselves a favour.  In the midst of the mayhem we can find a way out.  Our values will guide us to new beginnings.

I wrote “HOLDING OUR VALUES NEAR” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you remember to turn to your values in times of trouble?
  • Have you revisited your values recently?  Is it time to pay them a visit?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY


HOLDING OUR VALUES NEAR

 

Sometimes our mind’s in turmoil, there is so much going on,

Too much newness to assimilate, or something sudden gone,

An enthusiasm waning, or a disappointment new,

Something close to disappearing, something coming into view.

Yes, for now the landscape’s changing, and that really is the crux,

We may strive for equilibrium but everything’s in flux

And for the moment we must tolerate an unknown what will be,

So, let’s not fix upon an outcome, let us sit it out and see.

For what will happen in the future is not something we can know,

We may give it our best guesstimate, accepting even so

That predictions are notorious for being way off beam,

And even seeming drawbacks are not always what they seem.

And so, if Mind is in a turmoil and things seem for now unclear,

That’s the time to turn to values and to hold them very near,

For then we won’t be in a quandary, Mind rushing round disturbed,

Because when values drive our actions we need not be too perturbed.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “HOLDING OUR VALUES NEAR” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

When we are struggling with events in our lives, when we have lost touch with our values and are finding it hard to cope, the Six Core Processes of ACT offer us a wealth of choice.  What a tool box we have at our disposal.

If you want a swift reminder of what’s on offer there is a great overview at goodtherapy.org.  I visited today and I was so glad that I did.  It reminded me that even though I turn my back on one core process there are five more waiting in the wings!  Today it was this that resonated with me:

“Accepting one’s emotional experience can be described as the process of learning to experience the range of human emotions with a kind, open, and accepting perspective.”

I was so glad to be reminded of that today.  The first cut really can be the deepest if we don’t keep digging at it!

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Accepting the Feelings

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  What should I do when someone hurts me?

A:  Acknowledge it, accept the feelings and move on.

When someone hurts us, especially when someone hurts us unexpectedly, it can be quite a shock to the system.  If we didn’t see it coming then it can leave us reeling, unable for the moment to make sense of what is happening.

At such times it is probably best not to try to analyse too much.  We cannot know what causes someone else to lash out, we are not privy to their inner landscape, we cannot get inside their head.

Of course it would be great if people went around being nice to each other, of course it would be wonderful if everyone took account of everyone else’s feelings, but that isn’t going to happen any time soon.  We are all human, imperfectly human, and we all say and do things we don’t mean and wish we could take back.  Sometimes things do spill out, sometimes the pressure builds and things are said and done to relieve it.

If we are at the receiving end of someone’s unkindness that says more about what is happening to them than it does about us.  ACT reminds us that we are more than our feelings, more than our thoughts.  If we make space we can observe them and let them pass through.

When we are upset by what someone has said or done it helps to remember that we cannot stop the feelings arising but we do not have to hold on to them.  When someone offends us we do not have to take offence.  We have a choice.  We can acknowledge our feelings, accept them and move on.

I wrote “ACCEPTING THE FEEINGS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Are you too quick to take offence?
  • Are you willing to act in your own best interests and let it go?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

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POEM FOR TODAY

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ACCEPTING THE FEELINGS

 

Sometimes somebody lets us down, or so it sometimes feels,

And we didn’t see it coming, we’re off balance, our world reels,

And it really was surprising when our world view took a knock,

But right now, the shock is over and it’s time for taking stock.

It maybe we were complacent and forgot how things could change

When our world view took a tumble, and began to rearrange,

But it’s time now for acceptance of what’s happened, of what’s gone,

Leaving energy to spare to best decide how to move on.

For a someone who’s surprised us doesn’t have to take account

Of emotional reactions that in us begin to mount,

For our feelings are our business, our responsibility,

So, they’re never down to you my friend, they’re always up to me.

And so, although we may not like it when a someone seems unkind,

Or we find things have moved on and we’ve been somehow left behind,

It will be in our best interests if we simply let it go

And refuse to take offence so that our peace of mind can grow.

And that really is so lovely, when we find a way to say,

“I’m protective of my peace and I don’t give it quick away,

And despite your careless actions I won’t seek to shift the blame,

I may not like the way I feel but I’ll accept it all the same.”

© Corinne Shields, 2017

 

If you enjoyed, “ACCEPTING THE FEELINGS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

There is a very interesting article at mindfulnessmuse.com entitled 5 Ways to Let Go of Judgment and Fear.  The 5 Strategies are:

  • Mindfulness
  • Reframe the judgment in terms of consequences
  • Reframe the judgment in terms of goas or gratitude for others
  • Actively look for exceptions and what is going unnoticed
  • Apply validation

The article reminds us that it is possible to let go of judgment and fear.  We can make the choice in this moment to practice a new way of relating to ourselves, others, and the world.

When we realise that taking offence, no matter how justified, hurts us more than choosing not to take it, then it becomes easier to let it go.  The 5 strategies are useful tools to have in our kit-box.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

just-for-today-i-wont-allow-what

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne