ACT and Accomplishments, Values and Goals

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  What can I do to make my life feel more meaningful and enjoyable?

A:  Acknowledge each accomplishment you make.  Don’t be in such a rush. 

Image result for inspirational picture quotes accomplishment

Accomplishments are strange things.  When we are very goal driven then we may have to wait a very long time for feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction.  If we equate accomplishment with a conclusion, a successful outcome, then the road towards it can seem both long and arduous.

It doesn’t have to be this way.  ACT reminds us that if we are focused on values instead of driven by goals then our lives will feel very different.  Yes we can have goals along the way, things, accomplishments if you like, that we can tick off as we go, but they are not the be all and end all.  Underneath there is something more profound, something unchanging and solid that underpins everything.  When we identify a value, something that really matters to us, and make that value central in our lives, then any action based on that value will feel right.

In other words we won’t have to wait for a conclusion before we feel a sense of accomplishment.  We will be able to feel it every step of the way because all of our actions will feel important.  Life feels very different when we live it from this perspective.

I wrote “ACCOMPLISHMENTS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you have to wait a long time for a sense of accomplishment?
  • Do you think that living a value focused life might make a difference?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

 

Accomplishment’s a strange thing, it’s not always what we think,

Not so much about an ending, as the forging of a link,

A connection unimagined, a discovery so profound

That accomplishment has now become the breaking of new ground.

When it’s seen from this perspective motivation gathers pace,

Every step becomes significant, deserving of its place,

For when we are not so focused on conclusions lost from view

Then accomplishment’s potentially in everything we do.

And what a wondrous way to then proceed, each little step a gain,

Motivation’s flowing through us for now nothing is mundane,

Every link has an importance, there is not the same duress

For when we’re not fixed on an ending, we’re caught up in the process.

And so, let’s do ourselves a favour, let us claim all those rewards,

Let’s enjoy all those accomplishments that each fresh step affords,

And then as journey’s end’s approaching, we will know what made it great

Was that we treasured each accomplishment, we didn’t have to wait.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “ACCOMPLISHMENTS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

We do have a choice when it comes to deciding how best to lead our lives.  If we are overly goal driven then it is likely that life feels unduly fraught and full of tension a lot of the time.  If you think you might benefit from learning more about the values focused life then take a look at Russ Harris’ video which clearly differentiates between values and goals.

When I start to feel over-wrought it’s often because I am letting goals become too dominant and I am forgetting that values offer a gentler but more powerful alternative.  Head over to the video and see what you think.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Self as Context, the Observer Self

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q: How can I stop being overwhelmed by what happens to me?

A: Develop your Observer Self.  Remember to stop, stand back, observe.

Image result for inspirational picture quotes the bigger picture

It can be difficult to remember that we are more than the content of our lives, to remember that there is another side, a powerful side of ourselves, that we can always access.  Self as Context, the Observer Self, is always there, always accessible, but content is powerful.  It can overwhelm us, sweep us away, have us believe that what happens to us is all that matters.

When we are embroiled in the content of our lives it is difficult to stop, stand back and observe.  Yet, this is what will make the difference.  If we want to get a wider perspective, if we want to stop reacting to everything that happens, good, bad and indifferent, then it is to Self as Context that we must turn.

ACT reminds us that we are more, much more than the content of our lives.  There is an enduring Self in all of us, an Observer Self that remains constant.  The more we access this side of ourselves, the less we will be overwhelmed by what happens to us.

It is not easy to stand up to the content of our lives, to say we won’t be pushed around by it, that we will take time to stop, stand back and observe.  In the heat of the moment it seems natural to react to what is going on, but there is power in the pause.  In that pause we can access that wiser side that is in all of us.  And that can make all the difference.

I wrote “I AM THE SEA, I CANNOT SINK” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you remember to stop, stand back and observe what is happening to you?
  • Are you able to make a distinction between your Self as Content and our Self as Context?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

 

I AM THE SEA, I CANNOT SINK

 

I am the sky and not the clouds that for a time the skies engrave,

For I remain when they have cleared, I am the ocean not the wave,

For I am here through thick and thin, and big enough to welcome in whatever’s in my path today,

So, I’ll accept it come what may.

And I’ll not occupy my mind with things it cannot understand,

The skies aren’t bothered by the clouds, and oceans care not where waves land,

And though it’s hard to comprehend this starring role in which I’m cast,

When waves and storms come crashing through, I know it’s true they will not last.

For we are so much larger than the bits of content temporary,

The clouds cannot the sky eclipse and waves cannot drown out the sea.

And so, whatever comes my way I will remember I am sky,

And though at times I am obscured, the thunderclouds will pass me by,

And though the waves may stir me up, and I’m presented with a cup I’d rather far not have to drink,

I am the sea, I cannot sink.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “I AM THE SEA, I CANNOT SINK” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

I don’t usually recommend one of my own posts in this section but on this occasion I am going to!

I don’t find the concepts of Self as Context, the Observer Self, easy to get a handle on.  As such, it is a topic that I return to frequently.  So when I was looking for a resource to recommend here I was surprised to find one of my own posts pop up.  I’ll take that as a sign that it’s worth sharing again.

For more on Self as Context, the Observer Self, head over to actmadelyrical.com and read what I had to say back then aboutGORY LITTLE STORIES”.  I hope you enjoy it.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

lf as What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Mind Games

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q: How can I cope when Mind starts playing Mind Games?

A:  Defuse!

Our Mind is a wonderful thing.  It plans for us, analyses and makes judgements for us, alerts us to threats and dangers and, for much of the time, is an all-round good egg.  Where would we be without it?  Well I guess we would be like the cows munching in the field.  Quite happily enjoying the moment, not worrying where the next blade of grass is coming from.

So far so good.  However, our Mind also has the capacity to cause us much distress.  With its incredible imaginative powers this is where our wonderful Mind ensures that we part company from the cows!  Because we do worry where the next blade of grass is coming from, and more, much more.

Our wonderful Mind seldom rests.  Even when we are asleep it is still busy whirring away.  Mind is always at it.  When it is not planning and analysing and passing judgement, it is imagining, forecasting and projecting.  Unfortunately, due to the way it has evolved to keep us safe, Mind often looks on the black side, errs on the side of caution, and conjures up horror stories just to make sure we are paying attention.

In ACT we learn to look on our Mind with a bit of scepticism.  We learn that just because it thinks things that doesn’t mean they are true.  We learn that we are more than our thoughts, more than our feelings.  We learn that we are the Thinker, we are not the thought.  We learn about defusion.

When Mind starts conjuring up horror stories we can stop it in its tracks when we remember to defuse.  Mind loves to play mind games, but we do not have to fall for them.

I wrote “HAUNTINGS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • What do you do when Mind starts playing mind games?
  • Do you remember to defuse?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

HAUNTINGS

 

Some things come back to haunt us with alarming regularity,

We look back and see a re-run of the same old same story,

And we thought we’d got it beaten, but ‘twas only lying low,

Now it’s back with teeth to bite us, if we chew on it ‘twill grow.

Of a sudden it’s inflaming, stirring feelings we don’t like,

All those bodily sensations even now begin to strike,

As our Mind starts telling stories and a crisis re-enacts,

It was such a small occurrence, but Mind’s careless of the facts.

And if we are in Mind’s orbit without making a safe space,

We’re in danger of colliding with reactions out of place

Which eclipse a swift appraisal of what’s really going on,

For there’s little room for logic when for now all logic’s gone.

And so, although it isn’t easy when we’re caught out in this way,

When a something back to haunt us springs a comeback in today,

And we didn’t see it coming, and mistakenly believed

We’d consigned it into history, but how we were deceived.

But it’s not a real disaster, a catastrophe, or worse,

We can choose to treat this haunting as a blessing or a curse

If we remember it’s a story, just our latest mental ruse,

And it will melt away the moment we decide that we’ll defuse.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “HAUNTINGS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

One of the greatest gifts of ACT is defusion.  How wonderful to know that when Mind starts playing its tricks we do have a powerful antidote at hand.  We can stop Mind in its tracks.  We can create some distance and look at the games it is playing without getting embroiled in the downward spiral.

If you need a reminder of some defusion techniques head over to getselfhelp.co.uk.  The article “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” is one I return to often!!

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

 

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Failure and Success

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  How can I cope with failure?

A:  View it as a necessary precursor to success!

Image result for inspirational picture quotes eddison

Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was, “too stupid to learn anything.”  He was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive.”  As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb.  When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times.  The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”  What a wonderful attitude!

No wonder Edison went on to become one of the greatest inventors of all time.  He didn’t look on failure as a problem.  He viewed it as a necessary pre-cursor to success!

Would that we all could do the same.  What a difference that would make in our lives.  Instead of running away from the risk of failure we would be able to welcome it with open arms, to look on it with anticipation as an opportunity for a lovely learning curve.

Unfortunately, if you are like me then you are no Thomas Edison.  Rather than regarding failure as a welcome guest you more likely grew up, as I did, regarding it as a dirty word.  For me failure has always been flooded with negativity, something to be avoided at all costs.  Rather than being prepared to try and fail, too often I haven’t dared to try at all.  With this attitude there is no room for the lovely learning curves that failure offers.  Our lives become smaller as a result.  What a shame.

ACT encourages us to be careful with language.  “Failure” is only a word, a series of letters, a sound.  It is we who imbue it with meaning.  My reaction to the word “failure” is completely different to that of Edison.  We are literally poles apart!  But when we invest too much meaning into words we can hurt ourselves.  This is where Defusion can help.  When we remember that words are just sounds, thoughts are just strings of words that we make up, we can start to take them less seriously.  We can become more flexible.  This is a good thing!

I wrote “LOVELY LEARNING CURVES” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Are you able to see the difference between a word and the meaning you give it?
  • Are you aware of the messages that you send yourself?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

LOVELY LEARNING CURVES

 

Let us have a new beginning, let us make a brand-new start,

Let’s approach a fresh whatever with a quickening of the heart,

And let’s send ourselves sweet messages of encouragement and good cheer,

Tell ourselves that we are for us now whatever happens here.

Let’s prepare ourselves for pitfalls, yes there’ll be the odd time when

We’ll revert to negativity, but we can rise again

Reinforced by lovely learning curves that each new failure brings

When we’re willing to look for the treasures hidden in these things.

For a failure’s not a failure when we view it in this way,

It is just another thing we’ve learned that didn’t work today,

But it’s on the back of failure that success comes finally

And if we stick around for long enough success we’ll surely see.

And so, let’s have a new beginning, let us make that brand-new start,

And let us not retreat defeated, let’s be stout and strong of heart,

Because we’re braver than our gravest fears, great things can still be ours

When we remember, we are human beings, with unimagined powers.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “LOVELY LEARNING CURVES” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

When I first came to ACT I remember being very impressed by the importance that it attached to language.  In fact, I remember reading alot about the difficulties that language can create for human beings.  Although it is one of our greatest gifts, our use of language also has the capacity to do us much harm.  Somewhere along the way I have forgotten alot of what I learned back then.  So I thought it was high time to take a refresher, to remind myself of what I once knew!

Amongst other interesting articles, I came across a piece written by Rob Archer entitled, you’ve guessed it, “The Dangers of Language“.  Just what I was looking for!  Rob reminds us of:

“one of the most powerful lessons within contextual behavioural science; that part of our lives (or ‘context’) is shaped by the words that we use to describe it.”

I found the article really helpful, a great reminder that:

“if we get it wrong, language has the capacity to sell us a version of life that is not particularly accurate or helpful and which may leave us feeling shortchanged.”

I have a feeling I shall be reading more of Rob’s stuff in the days to come!

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Honouring our Feelings

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q: What should I do with uncomfortable feelings?

A:  Honour them.  Pay attention to the messages they send.

We all love lovely feelings.  Of course we do.  They make us feel good, flood us with a sense of well-being, and make us feel glad to be alive.  It’s great when our whole system is in harmony.  We feel like we are on top of the world and that’s where we want to stay.

Unfortunately, feelings aren’t like that.  They are fleeting, they come and go,  often appearing out of nowhere and leaving just as suddenly.  That’s the nature of feelings.  We can no more hang on to our good feelings than demand that our bad feelings either don’t come at all, or if they must, then they don’t hang around for too long.

We can spend a long time battling with our feelings, trying to change the ones we don’t like and trying to keep the ones we do.  It is an energy sapping, largely fruitless exercise.  ACT suggests another approach.  ACT suggests that we practice acceptance.  When we practice acceptance of our feelings, good, bad and indifferent we are able to conserve our energy for other more fruitful activities.

ACT also encourages us to develop a different relationship with our feelings. This is where “Honouring our Feelings” comes in.  Our feelings are powerful clues to things we may need to be aware of in our lives.  Gut reactions are nature’s way of alerting us to things we may need to pay attention to.  Our feelings are there to help us, our evolutionary friend.  When we view them in this way, rather than doing battle with them, we can learn to honour them, listen to them, and then decide whether they are relevant or not.

I wrote “HONOURING OUR FEELINGS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you cope with your uncomfortable feelings?
  • Are you learning that accepting and honouring them might be a more useful strategy?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

HONOURING OUR FEELINGS

 

Let’s learn to honour our feelings, even when they agitate,

And let’s look on them with kindness, even when they angst create,

For they’re with us for a reason, they are trying to keep us safe,

And so, let’s give them space sufficient even when they jar and chafe.

There are times when feelings flood us with sensations of alarm,

When our heart starts pounding madly ‘til we feel ‘twill do us harm,

But it’s just our evolution sending messages so slick

That we forget it’s just a wondrous part of all that makes us tick.

And we’d wish that it were other, that we’d always feel just fine,

But our system is much wiser, it is able to define

Situations masquerading as a danger or a threat,

It won’t leave us unprotected, it will situations vet.

And this may bring some discomfort, but how fortunate are we

To possess our own antennae of such sensitivity

That they work on automatic, even when our mind’s elsewhere,

They are always working for us, always scanning everywhere.

And at times it can be wearing, we may wish they’d take a break,

Let us be a while oblivious to the fuss that they create,

But in the end, we know their value is immeasurable, and so

Even though they cause discomfort, we’ll just let them come and go.

 

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “HONOURING OUR FEELINGS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you. And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

I have been away for a while.  For the last few weeks I have not had instant access to the internet and, being out of the loop, so to speak, I have had more time for reading and writing, more time for reflection.  It has been a great time, rather like being on a retreat.

During that time though, things happened that I had not been expecting, things that upset me and caused alot of uncomfortable feelings.  This poem is one consequence of those feelings.  Something that has really helped me with ACT is learning to use the power that strong emotions generate in a creative way.

The last few weeks have been very productive creatively.  When we are forced out of our normal routines, when we are cut off from the instant communications that the internet offers, there is room for other stuff to come in.  ACT has helped me alot during this time out.  I needed it and it did not fail.  I hope that it will do the same for you too.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU? What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Childish Thinking

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies! 

Q:  How can I cope better with troublesome thoughts?

A:  Develop a different relationship with them.

Troublesome thoughts can drive us mad, fearful thoughts can paralyse us.  How many times have our thoughts stopped us doing things we wanted to do?  How often have we woken up in a panic, heart pounding, stomach churning, hostage to a mind that is going round in circles?  We have all  been there.  We all know what it is like to be swept away by our thoughts to dark places we would far rather not visit.  What to do?  That is the question.

Well there are many ways that we can deal with our troublesome thoughts but one of the most effective for me is to adopt an ACT strategy.  ACT encourages us to develop a different relationship with our thoughts.  ACT reminds us that we are more than our thoughts, more than our feelings.  We are the thinker, we are the great story teller, we are conjuring up all these images that play out movies in our minds.

Often our automatic thoughts, our immediate reactions spring from things that have happened in childhood.  As powerless little children we developed coping strategies to survive, we internalised core beliefs from our families of origin that may or may not be helpful now.  When we have strong powerful reactions and thoughts to things that happen now, it is helpful to see if some of those reactions are products of past childish thinking that is no-longer relevant.  This means creating some distance and developing a different relationship with our thoughts.  This is helpful.

I wrote “CHILDISH THINKING” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you cope with your troublesome thoughts?
  • Are you willing to develop a new relationship with them?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

 

POEM FOR TODAY

CHILDISH THINKING

 

It maybe hopes have faded, we are jaded, out of sorts,

And we’re troubled more than normal by those pesky little thoughts

That keep swirling round in circles ‘til our head is fit to burst,

We are desperate to do something, but don’t know what to do first.

In this instance, there’s a process we can kick-start straight away,

We can make a bit of distance, watch our pesky thoughts at play,

And remember we’re the thinker, we’re imagining it all,

And this moment of awareness means our thoughts begin to stall.

And we can go one step further, hold our thoughts now to account,

And regard them with some rigour as our fears begin to mount,

We can dig them from their hiding place and hold them to the light,

And demand of them some answers, “Are you wrong, or are you right?”

And it could be very likely that we’ll find they’re fantasy,

Just some phantoms from our past cavorting as reality,

And though we’ll honour and acknowledge them for whence they came and why,

If we’re seekers of the truth, we will not on those thoughts rely.

And then we’re ready for the next step, and it’s one that may seem strange,

As we switch from doom and gloomy thoughts to nice thoughts for a change,

And as we conjure up a picture show of shimmering success

We’re no longer sabotaging the potential we possess.

And it may seem a tall order, after all we’ve long been held

Hostage to our childish thinking, and it is not easy quelled,

But if we recognise its origin, we now have power to say,

“Whilst I thank you for your thoughts, I’m in a different place today.”

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed “CHILDISH THINKING please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

Although not strictly speaking an ACT book, I would like to recommend Lauren Mackler’s book:

Product Details

Today’s poem, “CHILDISH THINKING” was inspired by a process she describes entitled “The Five Steps to Managing Fear”.

Sometimes you come across a book which resonates with you.  It is there at the right time and you are in the right place to appreciate it.  That is how I felt when I opened the first pages of “Solemate”.  Maybe you will enjoy it too.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

 

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Accepting the Feelings

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!

Q:  What should I do when someone hurts me?

A:  Acknowledge it, accept the feelings and move on.

When someone hurts us, especially when someone hurts us unexpectedly, it can be quite a shock to the system.  If we didn’t see it coming then it can leave us reeling, unable for the moment to make sense of what is happening.

At such times it is probably best not to try to analyse too much.  We cannot know what causes someone else to lash out, we are not privy to their inner landscape, we cannot get inside their head.

Of course it would be great if people went around being nice to each other, of course it would be wonderful if everyone took account of everyone else’s feelings, but that isn’t going to happen any time soon.  We are all human, imperfectly human, and we all say and do things we don’t mean and wish we could take back.  Sometimes things do spill out, sometimes the pressure builds and things are said and done to relieve it.

If we are at the receiving end of someone’s unkindness that says more about what is happening to them than it does about us.  ACT reminds us that we are more than our feelings, more than our thoughts.  If we make space we can observe them and let them pass through.

When we are upset by what someone has said or done it helps to remember that we cannot stop the feelings arising but we do not have to hold on to them.  When someone offends us we do not have to take offence.  We have a choice.  We can acknowledge our feelings, accept them and move on.

I wrote “ACCEPTING THE FEEINGS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Are you too quick to take offence?
  • Are you willing to act in your own best interests and let it go?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

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POEM FOR TODAY

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ACCEPTING THE FEELINGS

 

Sometimes somebody lets us down, or so it sometimes feels,

And we didn’t see it coming, we’re off balance, our world reels,

And it really was surprising when our world view took a knock,

But right now, the shock is over and it’s time for taking stock.

It maybe we were complacent and forgot how things could change

When our world view took a tumble, and began to rearrange,

But it’s time now for acceptance of what’s happened, of what’s gone,

Leaving energy to spare to best decide how to move on.

For a someone who’s surprised us doesn’t have to take account

Of emotional reactions that in us begin to mount,

For our feelings are our business, our responsibility,

So, they’re never down to you my friend, they’re always up to me.

And so, although we may not like it when a someone seems unkind,

Or we find things have moved on and we’ve been somehow left behind,

It will be in our best interests if we simply let it go

And refuse to take offence so that our peace of mind can grow.

And that really is so lovely, when we find a way to say,

“I’m protective of my peace and I don’t give it quick away,

And despite your careless actions I won’t seek to shift the blame,

I may not like the way I feel but I’ll accept it all the same.”

© Corinne Shields, 2017

 

If you enjoyed, “ACCEPTING THE FEELINGS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

There is a very interesting article at mindfulnessmuse.com entitled 5 Ways to Let Go of Judgment and Fear.  The 5 Strategies are:

  • Mindfulness
  • Reframe the judgment in terms of consequences
  • Reframe the judgment in terms of goas or gratitude for others
  • Actively look for exceptions and what is going unnoticed
  • Apply validation

The article reminds us that it is possible to let go of judgment and fear.  We can make the choice in this moment to practice a new way of relating to ourselves, others, and the world.

When we realise that taking offence, no matter how justified, hurts us more than choosing not to take it, then it becomes easier to let it go.  The 5 strategies are useful tools to have in our kit-box.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

just-for-today-i-wont-allow-what

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne