ACT, its best friend COMPASSION, and OUR INBUILT SOOTHING SYSTEM

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
And introducing COMPASSION, ACT’s best friend!

 

Q:  How can I improve my life?

A:  Be kind to yourself!

Image result for inspirational picture quotes self compassion

 

We really do have an inbuilt soothing system you know.  We may not be very familiar with it, we may be very sceptical about it, deny it even, but it is there, always at our disposal if we care to use it.

Another name for our inbuilt soothing system is compassion.  Compassion is that quality of kindness, empathy, sympathy that, too often, we reserve for other people.  But compassion is the same whether we give it to others or give it to ourselves.  The quality of compassion does not change.

We know what it is, what it feels like, because we will have given it out freely to other people, animals, the environment, at some time or another.  When we have seen someone in trouble, a lost child, an animal in distress, pollution in the environment, we will have felt something pull at our heartstrings, we will have felt something soften inside.  If we have had an instinctive reaction to reach out to someone, something else, to relieve suffering, that is compassion.  The trick now is to learn how to harness it and give it to ourselves.  The gift of self compassion, that is our challenge.

Is it worth it?  Yes it is.  Self compassion will improve our lives no end!  Science confirms it.  It’s official.  Compassion is good for you.

I wrote “OUR INBUILT SOOTHING SYSTEM” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Are you a fan of self compassion?
  • Have you learned how to harness its power to soothe yourself?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

 

OUR INBUILT SOOTHING SYSTEM

 

Maybe we had a bad day, faced some pretty awful things,

Had to make some space for suffering which every life-time brings,

And found out though we could fix most things, we couldn’t fix them all,

So, we called on our compassion to composure reinstall.

Oh, when fears are coursing through us and our heart begins to pound

It is hard to find some peace of mind when thoughts are swirling round,

And as one feeds on another in a maelstrom we are caught,

It can happen in an instant, and it all starts with a thought.

When we’re in this situation then the best thing we can do

Is to breathe into our fears and give them space to move on through,

And rely on our compassion, it is there to still our fears,

So, let’s use the power within us ‘til composure reappears.

It’s a wonderful endowment, and it’s ours to freely use,

We are always in its orbit, it is always ours to choose,

Yet we often are reluctant to call on its healing powers,

Are we mad, or are we stupid, these are powers and they are ours.

And so next time that we are reeling from the bad day we’ve endured,

And our fears are running rampant, and a maelstrom is assured,

Let’s be ready to combat it with this wondrous power within,

And use our inbuilt soothing system so that healing can begin.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “OUR INBUILT SOOTHING SYSTEM” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

Learning about self compassion is a wonderful thing.  It can be a real revelation, this realisation that there is another way to live our lives.  We don’t always have to be fighting, fleeing, achieving.  We can live in a more peaceful way, we can inhabit a different world within.

Like anything else though, if we want to make changes we are going to have to make an effort.  We are going to have to seek out teachers, resources, to help us.  Fortunately there is a mass of wonderful stuff at a click of the finger.  That is what is so great about living in this day and age.  New Technology makes it all possible, right here, right now.

Why not do yourself a favour, just type “self compassion” into the search bar and see where it takes you.  Start your own journey.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life? What can YOU do just for today to add some Compassion, some Kindness, into your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? Is Compassion part of your life?

I am a student of ACT, I am learning about Compassion.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

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ACT, its best friend COMPASSION, and SELF KINDNESS

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
And introducing COMPASSION, ACT’s best friend!

 

Q: What should I do when I mess up, when I make a mistake?

A: Be kind to yourself.  We are human, we are not perfect.

When we mess up, when we make a mistake what is our default reaction?  If you are like me then you probably start beating yourself up, tell yourself what a stupid fool you are, you should have seen it coming, how could you have been so naive, shortsighted, foolish, brainless …………..

What you probably don’t do, if you are like me, is to show a little sympathy, a little empathy, a bit of compassion.  We are usually much better at being kind to others than we are to ourselves.  This is such a shame.  We are giving ourselves a hard time when it really isn’t necessary.

We are quick to tell our children that the best way to learn is through our mistakes but we don’t extend that same wisdom to ourselves.  We forgive the faults of others, remind them that nobody’s perfect and then forget that that applies to us too.  We are not perfect, we all make mistakes, that is what makes us human.

If we could cultivate self compassion what a difference that would make in our lives.  Body, mind and spirit would be in much better shape with a little bit of loving kindness coming their way.

Scientific research shows that compassion is good for you and I want to claim my share.

I wrote “IN THE LIGHT OF COMPASSION” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you treat yourself when you mess up, when you make a mistake?
  • Are you kind to yourself or are you self critical and harsh?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

IN THE LIGHT OF COMPASSION

 

Remember to practice compassion,

Don’t forget what it’s like to be kind,

And if you’re feeling hurt don’t be snappy and curt,

Learn to leave those responses behind.

Let it be like you’re swinging a lantern,

There to guide a lost soul in the dark,

And if you lose your way make it kind words you say,

For compassion is now your hallmark.

Don’t be tempted to self-criticising,

Or else rush to harsh judgement and shame,

For remember the lantern’s your guidance

And it does it in compassion’s name.

It’s a glow that you see in the distance,

And you know if you want to draw near,

You must follow the light that is shining,

Until darkness and fears disappear.

And if we would emerge from the darkness,

And move steadily into the light,

Then we must keep an eye on the lantern,

And ensure that it always burns bright.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “IN THE LIGHT OF COMPASSION” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT, and its best friend COMPASSION ……..

Self compassion can bring wonderful benefits into our lives but it may not come naturally.  This is strange really, because compassion is a natural attribute that we all possess.  It was gifted to us by evolution and it has been crucial in ensuring the survival of our species.  Without compassion we would have died out long ago.

Why?  Without compassion we would not nurture our young, our sick, our vulnerable.  Without compassion we would not reach out to others in trouble, we would not lend a helping hand, we would not co-operate. Without compassion we would not be able to nurture ourselves, encourage ourselves, forgive ourselves.  Without compassion we might just give up!

If you need a helping hand to access and nurture your compassion there are some great guided meditations online.  Dr Kristin Neff has a wonderful website at self-compassion.org.  I go there often.  Check it out.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life? What can YOU do just for today to add some Compassion, some Kindness, into your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? Is Compassion part of your life?

I am a student of ACT, I am learning about Compassion.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT, its best friend COMPASSION, and DECISIONS

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
And introducing COMPASSION, ACT’s best friend!

 

Q: I’m not sure where my responsibilities lie.  What should I do? 

A: Wait awhile.  Remember, fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

It can be difficult to know where our responsibilities lie, where we should set our boundaries.  Some of us may feel we are like Mr or Mrs Fix-It.  We should be rushing in to solve someone else’s problems.  We see someone in trouble and we think we know what is the best thing to do.  Funny how we can see someone else’s situation so clearly when, so often, we have so much difficulty making sense of our own!

If we are in a quandary, if we are not sure what to do, then probably the best thing we can do is do nothing.  That in itself is a decision.  The decision to do nothing may be the best decision that we can make right now.  And if the decision we are wavering over concerns something that we can’t control then doing nothing is definately a good option.  Letting go and letting things run their course may not be easy, but it is likely to be infinitely better than interfering in things that are not our business.

A word about compassion here.  Whilst all this is going on let’s recognise that none of this is easy.  Treating ourselves with kindness and compassion in difficult situations is something I am learning about and it is helping me.  It’s something that I shall be exploring more and more in this blog.  I hope you will come along with me on the journey.

It’s official.  Compassion is good for you.

I wrote “DECISIONS” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How do you cope when you are unsure of your responsibilities?
  • Are you willing to explore the possibilities that Compassion can bring into your life?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

DECISIONS

 

It can be hard deciding where responsibility lies,

To establish where our borders are so we can recognise

When we’re straying into territories where we’re not meant to be,

Yes, it can be hard to know where we can go legitimately.

And sometimes we are encouraged by another to wade in

And to mind another’s business, uninvited to begin

To enforce our own solutions to a problem we perceive,

Well, let’s not be too surprised if it’s resistance we receive.

For nobody will take kindly to such interference if

It is given unsolicited, and with a certain whiff

Of a distinct disapproval and a sense of censure, so

Let’s be sure where we’re about to go is where we want to go.

For sometimes it’s best allowing things to simply run their course,

We can’t know that our solutions represent the best recourse,

And when we’re deliberating should we go, or should we stay,

It is seldom wrong deciding just to wait another day.

And when we have a dilemma let’s not roll it round and round

Without remembering that compassion has an input to expound,

And if we listen to its soothing words which calm our fractured mind

Then it may be that our decision is much easier to find.

© Corinne Shields, 2017

If you enjoyed, “DECISIONS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT, and its best friend COMPASSION ……..

I stumbled across Compassion when I was having some difficult times in my own life.  ACT was helping me, is still helping me, but Compassion is a lovely adjunct, a wonderful companion to have at your side.

The book that I recommended in my last post is the one that introduced me to Compassion.  It is the one that I am still reading, still studying, still recommending.  It is a great place to start if you are new to Compassion.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

 

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life? What can YOU do just for today to add some Compassion, some Kindness, into your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you? Is Compassion part of your life?

I am a student of ACT, I am learning about Compassion.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne