ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
Q: What should I do when someone hurts me?
A: Acknowledge it, accept the feelings and move on.
When someone hurts us, especially when someone hurts us unexpectedly, it can be quite a shock to the system. If we didn’t see it coming then it can leave us reeling, unable for the moment to make sense of what is happening.
At such times it is probably best not to try to analyse too much. We cannot know what causes someone else to lash out, we are not privy to their inner landscape, we cannot get inside their head.
Of course it would be great if people went around being nice to each other, of course it would be wonderful if everyone took account of everyone else’s feelings, but that isn’t going to happen any time soon. We are all human, imperfectly human, and we all say and do things we don’t mean and wish we could take back. Sometimes things do spill out, sometimes the pressure builds and things are said and done to relieve it.
If we are at the receiving end of someone’s unkindness that says more about what is happening to them than it does about us. ACT reminds us that we are more than our feelings, more than our thoughts. If we make space we can observe them and let them pass through.
When we are upset by what someone has said or done it helps to remember that we cannot stop the feelings arising but we do not have to hold on to them. When someone offends us we do not have to take offence. We have a choice. We can acknowledge our feelings, accept them and move on.
I wrote “ACCEPTING THE FEEINGS” to remind me of that.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
- Are you too quick to take offence?
- Are you willing to act in your own best interests and let it go?
- What can you share that might be of help to others?
Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
POEM FOR TODAY
ACCEPTING THE FEELINGS
Sometimes somebody lets us down, or so it sometimes feels,
And we didn’t see it coming, we’re off balance, our world reels,
And it really was surprising when our world view took a knock,
But right now, the shock is over and it’s time for taking stock.
It maybe we were complacent and forgot how things could change
When our world view took a tumble, and began to rearrange,
But it’s time now for acceptance of what’s happened, of what’s gone,
Leaving energy to spare to best decide how to move on.
For a someone who’s surprised us doesn’t have to take account
Of emotional reactions that in us begin to mount,
For our feelings are our business, our responsibility,
So, they’re never down to you my friend, they’re always up to me.
And so, although we may not like it when a someone seems unkind,
Or we find things have moved on and we’ve been somehow left behind,
It will be in our best interests if we simply let it go
And refuse to take offence so that our peace of mind can grow.
And that really is so lovely, when we find a way to say,
“I’m protective of my peace and I don’t give it quick away,
And despite your careless actions I won’t seek to shift the blame,
I may not like the way I feel but I’ll accept it all the same.”
© Corinne Shields, 2017
If you enjoyed, “ACCEPTING THE FEELINGS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
And just before you go …..
A final word from ACT …..
There is a very interesting article at mindfulnessmuse.com entitled 5 Ways to Let Go of Judgment and Fear. The 5 Strategies are:
- Reframe the judgment in terms of consequences
- Reframe the judgment in terms of goas or gratitude for others
- Actively look for exceptions and what is going unnoticed
- Apply validation
The article reminds us that it is possible to let go of judgment and fear. We can make the choice in this moment to practice a new way of relating to ourselves, others, and the world.
When we realise that taking offence, no matter how justified, hurts us more than choosing not to take it, then it becomes easier to let it go. The 5 strategies are useful tools to have in our kit-box.
How about YOU?
What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?
Just for today I will ………………………
If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?
I am a student of ACT. I am on a journey. I would love you to join me.
With all good wishes