ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
Q: What’s the best way to deal with insults?
A: Don’t trade them, dissolve them.
When someone hurts us the natural reaction is to retaliate; when someone insults us the normal response is to have a go back. But natural and normal are not always the most effective, the most skilful ways to behave. And ACT is all about being skilful, not for the benefit of others, but for our own benefit. In this way ACT could be said to be a selfish therapy! But it isn’t, not really. The fact is that by helping ourselves we are more able to help others. When we feel good inside then we have something good to give away.
One of the greatest gifts that we can give to ourselves is compassion. We can always choose to be kind to ourselves, even when others are not. And being kind means protecting our equilibrium, keeping an even keel. If insults come our way we can choose not to engage with them, not to make things worse; if someone is mean to us we can opt not to get defensive, not to go on the offensive, we can choose to let the hurt go.
I wrote “BRICKBATS AND FLOWERS” to remind me of that.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
- How do you react when people hurt you?
- Do you think you could respond more skilfully?
- What can you share that might be of help to others?
Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
POEM FOR TODAY
BRICKBATS AND FLOWERS
Sometimes it’s best to wait a bit and let life just work through,
Sometimes it’s doing nothing is the best thing we can do,
And sometimes when people hurt us or they irk us in some way,
It is better to remember things won’t always look this way.
With a little bit of distance then a larger view we see,
So, when people disappoint us we don’t take it personally,
We can sense that their agenda may be different to ours,
So, whilst they are hurling brickbats we can hand them back some flowers.
It’s a lovely little feeling when we realise it’s gone,
All the bile that was arising has dissolved and we’ve moved on,
And we’re glad we kept our counsel, and we gave ourselves some space
Until the story we were stirring simply vanished without trace.
And it’s certainly not easy should a slight or two occur
To resist the urge to have our say, to give that pot a stir,
But if we can just stay silent whilst emotion swirls about,
Then it’s likely we will find in time it simply fizzles out.
© Corinne Shields, 2016
If you enjoyed, “BRICKBATS AND FLOWERS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
And just before you go …..
A final word from ACT …..
Compassion is a commodity that is sadly lacking in today’s world, and yet compassion has wonderful healing properties. Who doesn’t feel better after a kind word, a comforting gesture, a helping hand?
Moreover, in ACT terms, compassion focused exercises have been shown to greatly increase the psychological flexibility that is at the heart of ACT.
The next book on my reading list is:
I love the way that ACT mixes Science with Soul. I want to find out more about Compassion. I want to learn about these wonderful tools for fostering Psychological Flexibility.
How about YOU?
What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?
Just for today I will ………………………
If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?
I am a student of ACT. I am on a journey. I would love you to join me.
With all good wishes