ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE of inspirational quotes, poems and other act goodies!
Q: What should I do when I’m tempted to interfere?
A: Beware! Mind your own business!
If we interfere in other people’s lives we do so at our peril. It is a very dangerous game to play! Sometimes it can be very tempting to intervene, to try to stop someone making what we perceive to be a serious mistake. But is it, and should we? When it comes to young children, yes we do have a responsibility to keep them safe and try to keep them on the right path, even if that right path is our path and may be questionable. When it comes to adults, though, we may need to think again.
In Twelve Step circles the concept of “tough love” is often advocated. Letting go of someone and allowing them to reach a rock bottom is not seen as heartless and cruel. Rather it is seen as an opportunity for survival, for recovery, for growth. Opinion may be divided on this, but generally speaking what is true is that getting overly e-meshed in someone else’s life is not a good thing!
It is hard enough to live our own life well, let alone to presume that we know how someone else should live theirs. So, we interfere at our peril.
I wrote “MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS” to remind me of that.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
- Do you get overly involved in other people’s lives?
- Are you too quick to offer your opinions?
- What can you share that might be of help to others?
Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
POEM FOR TODAY
MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS
I won’t presume to tell you what I can’t presume to know,
So, I’ll just mind my own business, let you choose which way to go,
For I can’t foretell the future nor else consequences see,
So, I’ll just stay on the side-lines and leave what will be to be.
I’ll attend to my own interests and not mix them up with yours,
And I’ll fix my own shortcomings not fixate on all your flaws,
And I’ll recognise the stories that are churning round my head
As just little bits of fiction and be sceptical instead.
For I can create some distance and I can carve out a space,
Watch a story bubble up then let it vanish without trace,
And if I resist temptation and don’t need to have my say,
Then words won’t come back to haunt me if they’re left unsaid today.
So, I won’t presume to tell you what I can’t presume to know,
I will just mind my own business, let you choose which way to go,
And then if one day down the future I look back with some delight
‘Twill be because I kept my counsel, and I see now I was right.
© Corinne Shields, 2016
If you enjoyed, “MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
And just before you go …..
A final word from ACT …..
When we feel the urge to intervene, interfere, start meddling in someone else’s life, we may not be able to stop the urge but we do not need to act on it. This is what ACT teaches us. There is a difference between the initial reaction and the considered response.
Becoming more mindful will help us to notice what is happening and we can choose to make a different decision. Instead of jumping in and trying to “fix” someone else, we can choose to defuse. We can make some space for the urge to rise and fall, we can notice what stories we are telling ourselves, what thoughts we are spinning, and we can choose to watch them come and go. We can do that. We do have a choice.
Getting overly embroiled in trying to “fix” other people can be a sign that we are avoiding what needs “fixing” in our own lives. It can be a great distraction. Other people’s flaws are so much more apparent than our own! And yet ACT provides us with a wonderful blueprint for personal progress.
Choose a value, pick an action that is in line with it, and then just do something meaningful. Instantly our own life improves. It really is as simple as that!
How about YOU?
What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?
Just for today I will ………………………
If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?
I am a student of ACT. I am on a journey. I would love you to join me.
With all good wishes