ACT and New Eras

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  What can I do when things change?

A:  Accept and explore it!

Image result for inspirational picture quotes

It’s so hard accepting what we cannot change, especially if we don’t like it!  If we don’t like something, the natural human reaction is, understandably, to try to alter it in some way.  Sometimes that is possible, and if it is, then of course we should use our best efforts to bring about a desired result.  But if it isn’t ……

If it isn’t possible to change something then sometimes the only thing to do is to let it go.  That is painful, of course it is.  But being willing to accept the pain just as it is can be less painful in the long run than futile denial and struggle.

I wrote “THE WORLD WE’VE GOT” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Have you found any solace in accepting what you cannot change?
  • How have you coped with the inevitable pain that accompanies loss?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

For-this-horse-has-truly

POEM FOR TODAY

Spellbound

THE WORLD WE’VE GOT

So now it’s really over and deep in our hearts we know

There will be no second chances, it is time to let it go,

For this horse has truly bolted, it’s too late to rein it in,

And for all our lamentations a new era will begin.

It will happen irrespective of our wanting it or not,

For new eras are quite callous and they will not care a jot

If we cling to our resistance, they’re too busy making hay,

Carving out a new tomorrow whilst we’re stuck in yesterday.

And so although it may be tempting to deny reality,

Waste our breath on wishful thinking, dissipate our energy

In a struggle that’s as futile as Canute found to his cost

When he tried to hold the tide back and inevitably lost.

And so whatever’s now occurring, even though it causes pain,

Let’s remember that surrender doesn’t mean we have to feign

Approbation for a circumstance we neither wished nor sought,

But if there’s a new reality we cannot then it thwart.

And so the more skilful reaction is to energy conserve,

Give a swerve to the unchangeable and effort now preserve

For the things that make life meaningful, for like it now or not,

This may not have been the world we sought but it’s the world we’ve got.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed “THE WORLD WE’VE GOT” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

When we are in trouble, when we are really hurting, what we need above all is a kindly word, some compassion, a feeling that someone understands what we are going through.

If we are lucky we will have someone on hand to offer that hand of friendship.  But sometimes more is required.  Sometimes we will need to offer that hand of friendship to ourselves.

Reaching out to others is one of the unforeseen positives that can come out of a personal hurt.  It is often when we are at our lowest ebb that we become willing to open up and share some of our hurt with others.  Wonderful things can happen when we do this.

But let us not forget to be kind to ourselves too.  Let us be willing to accept ourselves just as we are, warts and all, hurts and all.  ACT is very clear on this.  Reaching out to ourselves in an act of self compassion can be the best thing that we do for ourselves today.

I wrote a post about ACT and Self Compassion a while ago.  Today I needed to remind myself once again about the benefits that accrue when we remember to be kind to ourselves.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

Just-for-today-I-wont allow myself to shirk

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Crises

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  What do I do in the midst of a crisis?

A:  Keep calm and carry on!

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Sometimes life comes up to shock us!  It may be personal, it may be political, or the personal may have become political and vice versa.

We may not have seen it coming or maybe we did, and it shocked us anyway!

Whatever and however it happened, if we are in the midst of something that feels like a crisis it is likely we are not feeling very comfortable.  Fears of the unknown are natural, resistance to something we view as unwelcome is understandable, we are in shock!

At times like these ACT reminds us to be kind to ourselves, to treat ourselves with patience and compassion.  The shock will pass, if we let it; the uncomfortable feelings will move through, if we give them time and space; if the world, our world has re-arranged, we will catch up with it, in time.

Allowing ourselves to accept and experience all of our feelings just as they are without struggle may seem counter-intuitive.  Human beings are, after all, pre-programmed to move away from what they don’t like and towards what they do, but ACT is clear on this.  Accepting what we cannot change, uncomfortable feelings in this case, and changing what we can, maybe taking a valued action, will serve us better than wasting precious energy on futile struggle.

I wrote “A COMPLETE HUMAN BEING” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • How have you dealt effectively with a crisis?
  • How has ACT helped you to keep calm and carry on?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

edinburgh_sunset_2

A COMPLETE HUMAN BEING

Sometimes a something happens and its impact is so great

That we can’t internalise it, nor expect it to abate,

For the moment we’re all rawness and all we can do is hurt,

There’s no place that we can hide in, we cannot this pain avert.

So if we cannot escape it then what are we meant to do?

It could be we’d best accept it and allow it to move through,

For although it’s only natural to wish we could repair

This event that’s come to floor us, it’s not going anywhere.

For this something is a fact now, it’s unchangeable, and so

All the wishing in the world is not enough to make it go,

For we’re in a new reality, and though we it resist

When we wake up in the morning this new thing will still exist.

And so for now all that is possible may be that we endure

And accept the pain we’re feeling, for right now ‘tis premature

To expect to circumvent it or reduce it in some way,

For if we have loved what now is lost that is the price we pay.

And this journey we are facing is not one we want to take,

But if we are in a state of loss ‘tis one we’ll have to make,

And if we would find some value in the face of what we’re seeing,

It will be in being prepared to be a complete human being.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed, “A COMPLETE HUMAN BEING” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

Bearing in mind the human predisposition to move away from difficult and distressing things and towards attractive and appealing things, we do well to remember that although this often makes sense in the external world it often works less well in the internal world of our thoughts and feelings.

In ACT terms this means that avoidance of, or struggle with difficult thoughts and feelings is not the most effective way of behaving.  ACT teaches us other, more effective ways and amongst them is Mindfulness.

I came across a really interesting article written by Melissa O’Brien at everyday-mindfulness.org entitled:

“How to Use Mindfulness to Work with Difficult Emotions: A Six Step Process”

Melissa shows us how we can “learn to turn our difficult emotions into our greatest teachers and sources of strength”.

Her Six Step Process for mindfully dealing with difficult emotions is well worth a read.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

 

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

ACT and Setbacks

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – AN ONLINE RESOURCE

Q:  How do I overcome set-backs?

A:  Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again!

Nobody likes failure, nobody welcomes setbacks, nobody wants to fall short.  And yet, being human it is highly likely that we will fail, we will face setbacks, we will fall short.  We are human, we are not perfect, we will make mistakes.

Whether we are on a mission to lose weight, stop smoking, stay sober, stay clean, it is likely that at some time or another we will go off the diet, we will have another cigarette, we will fall off the wagon, we will have a slip.

How we deal with it, that’s the thing.  The great thing about ACT is that it reminds us that in the health domain, it is natural to experience setbacks, but these setbacks are only a problem when they cause us to move away from our values.

A slip does not have to become a relapse.  We can use a setback as fuel to get us back on the right track.  If we look to our values then they can help us to leave the slip behind as we choose effective actions in the here and now that will move us towards the desired outcome, to becoming the person we want to be.

I wrote “THE LONG HAUL” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Have you been able to learn from setbacks?
  • How have your values helped you to move on from a slip?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

So-its-OK-we-have-a

POEM FOR TODAY

_DSC6265

THE LONG HAUL

So it’s OK we have a set-back, it’s OK we fall from grace,

Because we’re in it for the long haul, we’re not in it for the race,

So it won’t matter if we stumble, it won’t matter if we fall,

Because as long as we keep trying then we’ll keep on walking tall.

If we base our lives on values, there’s an underlying seam

That runs deep beneath the mishaps, shining like a laser beam,

It will steady us through failure, make short shrift of goals we’ve missed,

And remind us life is more than things we’re ticking off a list.

And so if we have had a set-back let’s not see it as defeat,

Let us use the fuel within it our next challenges to meet,

And though we may be disappointed let’s look long enough to find

What it is we truly value and then failure’s left behind.

Because already we’ve an option here and now to make a choice,

We can select another action that will make our soul rejoice,

And then the set-back that we’ve suffered will soon sink without a trace,

Because we’re in it for the long haul, we’re not in it for the race.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

If you enjoyed, “THE LONG HAUL” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

At the moment I am on a mission to lose weight.  I am often on a mission to lose weight and sadly, that means that more often than not my mission fails.

Like many others I have tried a multitude of diets, become obsessed by this or that exercise plan and succeeded at varying times to shed the stones.  What I have not been able to do though is to maintain the weight loss.  Sooner or later, generally sooner, the pounds pile back on and I am back where I started, usually with interest!

So I am willing to give ACT a try.  It has worked for me in other domains so let’s see if it can work its magic with weight loss.

I am putting my trust in

Product Details

So far I like what I read, but reading isn’t going to be enough.  We all know what we need to do to lose weight but knowing is not enough.  If it were then nobody would have a weight problem!  This book uses the psychological science of ACT to help us to establish a healthy relationship with food and promises to show us how to control our weight without the stress of dieting.  Sounds good to me!

I will keep you posted about my progress.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

 

Just-for-today-I-wont give way

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne