ACT and Unwelcome Visitors


Q:  How can I deal with uncomfortable feelings?

A:  Treat them as visitors.  Learn to defuse.

When we view our feelings as old familiar friends this may help us to make a distinction between ourselves and our feelings.  This can be helpful.  When we can put distance between ourselves and our feelings we are beginning to defuse.  When we defuse we are beginning to see ourselves as separate from our feelings.  Our feelings are part of us but they are not all of us.  We are more than our feelings, far more than our feelings.

When we fuse with our feelings we say something like, “I am depressed, I am hopeless, I am no good.”  The feeling comes to define who we are, it overwhelms us at the same time as it diminishes us.

When we defuse we say something  like, “Here comes my old friend depression.   I wonder how long he is going to stick around this time.”  It’s different.

Putting labels on our feelings can help us to separate them out, to put distance between ourselves and our feelings.  When we treat them as visitors we have a different relationship with them.  We can give them houseroom but they are only staying temporarily.  They will be moving on.  We are still here.

I wrote “FLIMSY FLEETING FEELINGS” to remind me


  • Are you becoming more skilled at defusion?
  • Do you recognise when you are fused with your feelings?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.


But-remember-all-these feelings




Our feelings come to visit us like old familiar friends,

Here’s the one we love to welcome, here’s another that descends

Like a cloud upon our consciousness, it’s heavy and it’s grey,

And once it’s installed in residence ‘twill likely stay all day.

And we never know quite what will come, they take us by surprise,

Life is seeming going swimmingly then sudden we capsize

And we’re drowning in a feeling we did not anticipate,

It just snuck up unexpected, now we’re in an awful state.

But remember all these feelings are just visiting and so

We need not be too attached to them for soon enough they’ll go,

For they are not things of substance, we can’t tie a feeling down,

And if we will learn to surf them then we find we will not drown.

And we’ll be free to take them with us no matter what we do,

They’ll just be there in the background ‘til they’re ready to move through,

And we will not have been held hostage, nor else given away our power

To our flimsy fleeting feelings that will change from hour to hour.

© Corinne Shields, 2016

 If you enjoyed, “FLIMSY FLEETING FEELINGS” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

There is no doubt that some feelings are “stickier” than others.  We all have our own particular favourites, those feelings that seem to visit more often and stick around longer.  What to do?

Well the answer is always the same.  Recognise the feeling, whatever that feeling may be and use defusion techniques to unhook from it.  No it isn’t easy.  But we can learn the techniques, we can become more skilful.

Amongst our many old familiar friends Depression is particularly unwelcome.  If you find Depression showing up rather too regularly then you might like to check out an article at  Entitled “ACT Treatment of Depression” it makes for interesting reading.  Head on over and see what you think.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….


How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes


Published by

Corinne Shields

I am a wife, mother, grandmother, erstwhile teacher for thirty plus years, and permanent student. I have long been interested in psychology and spirituality and enjoy writing inspirational poetry. Hence the publication of this blog at ACT Made I play golf badly, piano a little better and I love reading, writing, and all things French. I divide my time between Wales and France and enjoy travelling with my husband, Len and my dog Charlie.

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