ACT and Confusion


Q:  I feel so confused.  What should I do?

A:  Accept it.

Oh how we love certainty.  How we love to feel sure of ourselves, sure of the world, sure of those around us, sure of outcomes.

Our minds love certainty too.  In fact our minds love certainty so much that even when alternative evidence is staring us in the face, our minds will go to extraordinary lengths to disprove it.  Minds are like that.  To a large extent we see only what we want to see, preferably things that support our prevailing view.

When something doesn’t fit in with our view our natural tendency is to oppose it, challenge it, fight against it.  When we feel confused the same thing goes.  Confusion is uncomfortable.  Naturally we want to get rid of it and get back to the lovely comfort blanket of certainty.

ACT takes a rather different view.  Uncertainty, confusion, doubt, these are uncomfortable feelings.  Our natural reaction is to struggle against them, to try to get rid of them, to try to change them, to try to think them away.  But ACT says, “Stop!  Cease the struggle.  Accept what you are feeling just as it is.  It’s here anyway so just accept it.  Let it be and let it go.  Choose a meaningful action and get on with living.”

I wrote “CONFUSION” to remind me of that.


  • How do you cope with uncertainty and doubt?
  • What strategies do you use to lead a meaningful life in the midst of confusion?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.






Sometimes we may well wonder, “Have we really got this right?

Are we fixed on a fool’s errand with no clear outcomes in sight?

And are we going round in circles whilst the others forge ahead?

Are we wasting precious time, should we do something else instead?”

At such times of indecision when uncertainty abounds

It is best to just accept what now confuses and confounds,

And not be huddled all defensive, nor else poised for an attack,

Let’s just be with what we’re feeling without trying to send it back.

And then it’s likely it will move through as our feelings always do,

Just a temporary sensation, truth to tell it’s nothing new,

And in the aftermath we’ll know if this confusion was a sign

Saying, “Stick with where you’re headed,” or, “It’s time to re-align.”

And so next time we’re in confusion and uncertainties begin

Let’s not get into a panic, let us simply let them in

And then observe them from a distance, and just let them have their say,

And if things still need clarifying, let our values lead the way.


© Corinne Shields, 2015

If you enjoyed, “CONFUSION” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

Learning to stay with and accept our thoughts and feelings just as they are, without trying to change them, is one of the things that we learn in ACT.

In this way ACT, although a type of CBT, is rather different.  ACT does not focus on changing the content of thought but rather is about using mindfulness to let go of the struggle associated with thought, then using our values to guide the creation of a rich, purposeful life.

This is good news!  We do not have to engage with our confusion.  We can let it be, look to our values and choose a meaningful action that will enrich our life, right here, right now.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

Just-for-today-I-will accept confusion

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

 Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT.  I am on a journey.  I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes


Published by

Corinne Shields

I am a wife, mother, grandmother, erstwhile teacher for thirty plus years, and permanent student. I have long been interested in psychology and spirituality and enjoy writing inspirational poetry. Hence the publication of this blog at ACT Made I play golf badly, piano a little better and I love reading, writing, and all things French. I divide my time between Wales and France and enjoy travelling with my husband, Len and my dog Charlie.

8 thoughts on “ACT and Confusion”

    1. I hope she enjoys it. At least she will know she is not alone! Confusion reigns supreme for much of the time. Not getting too embroiled in it can be hard but at least we are not wasting all that precious energy. One thing at a time! X


  1. Being certain is our way to resist the unknown . It is our most common defense mechanism to cope with life’s chaos. Acceptance would certainly lead us to true peace and love.


    1. Thanks for visiting and commenting. Living with uncertainty is uncomfortable but life is uncertain. We fool ourselves to think otherwise. As you say if we can accept it therein lies a sense of peace. I needed that reinforcement today.


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