ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – An Online Resource
Q: I’m fed up with fighting my feelings. What can I do?
A: Accept them.
Nobody likes uncomfortable feelings, unpleasant thoughts, difficult emotions. The natural reaction, the human reaction, is to fight against them, to try to get rid of them, to want to see them gone. But sometimes the more we fight them the stronger they get, sometimes the more we deny them the more persistent they become and sometimes the louder we shout at them the louder they shout back.
It’s all very wearing. We exhaust ourselves without exhausting them.
ACT suggests an alternative. ACT suggests that instead of fighting our feelings we accept them, instead of denying our emotions we explore them, instead of challenging our thoughts we observe them. It’s all a lot less hassle. It doesn’t mean that they will necessarily disappear. What it does mean, however, is that we will not waste our precious energy in futile struggle. Then we will have that energy to do something useful, something meaningful.
I wrote “LIVING PRESENTLY” to remind me of that.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
- Do you wear yourself out fighting your feelings?
- Are you willing to give up the struggle and explore them instead?
- What can you share that might be of help to others?
Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
TIP FOR TODAY
POEM FOR TODAY
LIVING PRESENTLY
To go about our business in a present sort of way,
To accept what is occurring without pushing it away,
And be one with our experience, whatever it may be,
This is what it means when we are living presently.
It’s the laying down of struggle to allow the what-is in,
It’s a curious exploration when we’re willing to begin
To let all our thoughts and feelings unimpeded move on through,
When we’re living presently then this is what we do.
It’s an elegant alternative we now put to good use
Not in tying ourselves in knots, but rather shaking ourselves loose
From an overwhelming feeling or a discomforting thought,
When we’re watching from safe distance then we’re not in those knots caught.
So let’s go about our business in a present sort of way,
Be alert to what’s unfolding every moment of the day,
And let’s not become a victim of a stubborn clinging on
To a feeling or a thought which if we let it will be gone.
© Corinne Shields, 2015
If you enjoyed, “LIVING PRESENTLY” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
Which brings us to the ACTivation Point!
SO ……………………….
How about YOU?
What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?
Just for today I will ………………………
If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?
I am a student of ACT. I am on a journey. I would love you to join me.
With all good wishes
Corinne
Hi Corinne,
Popped over from Blogging 101. Love the gorgeous image – that is enough to lift anyone’s spirits.
I liked the last 2 lines of your poem:
And let’s not become a victim of a stubborn clinging on
To a feeling or a thought which if we let it will be gone.
Something I need to practice daily, even moment by moment.
LikeLike
Likewise. I really needed to write this today. I was off track but it brought me back. Thanks for popping over. Will be over to see you soon. Sweet dreams from the UK
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the poem! This is what I’m striving to do, as well as allow feelings that were stuffed down inside me from the past. Such an important message to learn…… dealing with them as they’re happening. 🙂
LikeLike
Hi MaryLou, so glad you enjoyed the poem. I wrote it when I was feeling all knotted up with difficult feelings and by the end of it there was a shift. That’s one of the things about writing, I find, it’s cathartic. I’m glad it helped you too.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Dear Corinne, I hear you and I resonate with your musings here. I particularly like this: “ACT suggests that instead of fighting our feelings we accept them, instead of denying our emotions we explore them, instead of challenging our thoughts we observe them.” I go through this phase
LikeLike
Dear Corinne, I hear you and I resonate with your musings here. I particularly like this: “ACT suggests that instead of fighting our feelings we accept them, instead of denying our emotions we explore them, instead of challenging our thoughts we observe them.” I go through this phase these days and find that acceptance liberates me and redirects me to a path where I could regain my courage to start anew 🙂 your poem is lovely. thank you for the inspiration.
LikeLike
Hi Emily, thank you so much for your lovely comment. I am so glad you enjoyed the post. Acceptance can seem like giving in and rolling over but, as you say, it can also be liberating. When we stop fighting against the uncontrollable we have energy to spare for other more meaningful stuff. We can wear ourselves out battling our emotions. Letting them just be there and getting on with our lives can be difficult but it is always better than letting them dictate what we do.
LikeLike
Living in the moment makes all the difference in the world. Only when the mind is silent will peace and bliss come.
LikeLike
So true! I was definitely not practicing what I preach yesterday and writing the post and becoming aware of what was going on did help. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think learning to live in the moment is a life long journey. Few, if any, fully reach the destination, but we benefit from every step along the way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi,
Glad I came to check your blog out! Great topic! I have been trying to practice mindfulness for a while now. I believe being self-aware helps me get through tough times. I can think logically when I am more attuned with my feelings and presence.
LikeLike
I try to practice mindfulness regularly too. It is a great gift in the midst of panic and alarm to just focus on the breath and feel body and mind start to settle down. It creates the space doesn’t it where we can choose to respond instead of reacting wildly. Yesterday I was reacting like mad, but in the end I remembered to be mindful and the day improved. Thanks so much for your visit and your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a well written post. Writing, reflection questions and an inspiring poem. Your words encouraged me.
I spent a few hours struggling with a difficult day. And stayed in my present moment and all it held for me. Tempted to “push away”. But stayed and worked through. I needed these words this morning. Thank you!
LikeLike
Thank you for your lovely comment and so pleased the day worked out for you. Mine did too in the end, but writing the post made me focus. It kept me in the present moment with the feelings I too wanted to push away, but as so often happens when you write about something, by the end the mood had shifted. Do you find that too??
LikeLike
Yes! I often discovering hidden treasures or insights my life needs at that moment. Thank you for asking.
LikeLike
Your post reminds me of part of my favorite Longfellow poem… “act…act in the living present! Heart within and god overhead” Thanks for sharing this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a lovely line. I don’t know that poem but I am certainly going to look it up. “act … act in the living present! Heart within and God overhead”! That is wonderful. Thank you for sharing that.
LikeLike