ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – An Online Resource
Q: My life has lost its sparkle. How can I get it back?
A: Return to your values.
If we’re honest it’s not so much our life that loses its sparkle as we stop doing the things that bring that sparkle into our life. Yes??
Life doesn’t just sparkle of its own accord. We have to do the stuff that makes it sparkle. And that stuff isn’t always that obvious.
It might, for instance, seem obvious that a sparkling life would be full of life’s goodies. Therefore anyone who has plenty of money to buy those goodies would necessarily have a sparkling life. Yes?? Well no, we know that’s not always true. A quick look around the people we know and those that we don’t, celebrities and otherwise, is enough to show us that money doesn’t necessarily buy happiness. Well we know that really don’t we?
There is enough research out there to show that spending a lifetime in pursuit of increasing one’s spending power is not necessarily the route to the sparkling life. Well if not money, then what? If not a sackful of life’s goodies, then what?
In ACT terms living a sparkling life is much more equated with living a life based on our values. Obviously then we need to find out what our values are, and that’s not always easy. However, if we want our lives to sparkle then it’s important that we invest time to discover what is important to us, what we want our lives to be about.
Once we know that, then we can shape what we do, our actions, around what matters, our values. When they match up then our life will start to sparkle again.
TIP FOR TODAY
HOW ABOUT YOU?
- How have you been able to use your values to make your life sparkle?
- If your life lost its sparkle how did you get it back?
- What can you share that might be of help to others?
Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
POEM FOR TODAY
PEBBLES IN THE STREAM
Throw a pebble in the stream and watch the ripples run,
That’s what happens with an action, with a something that we’ve done,
It will have its repercussions, sometimes bad and sometimes good,
So if we are doing something let’s do something that we should.
It may be a call to action is at times best left ignored
When we’re feeling over anxious, over tired or just plain bored,
Or maybe we’re indecisive, and it then can do no harm
To withdraw for just a little ‘til we start to feel more calm.
And the question to be asked is if next morning we’ll be proud
Of an action that we’ve taken, and if not it’s disallowed,
And if we’re unsure of the answer let a value shed some light
On the act we’re contemplating, and we’ll soon know if it’s right.
And so if we prize loving kindness let us get it in our head
That a sharp retort or petty jibe is better left unsaid,
And if we say independence is a treasure to pursue
Then we’ll have to do the things that independent spirits do.
And the list is pretty endless, for all lives with values teem
And they’ll always know which pebbles we should throw into the stream,
And although life may seem easier when values we ignore,
It is the value driven life that always sparkles more.
© Corinne Shields, 2015
If you enjoyed, “PEBBLES IN THE STREAM” please pass it on, and do please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.
And just before you go …..
A final word from ACT ……….
It can be difficult clarifying our values, but given their importance it is well worth the effort. ACT literature is full of useful techniques to help us to work out and prioritize what really matters to us. Because I am still reading
by Oliver, Hill and Morris, their examples and worksheets are freshest in my mind, but I have also used Russ Harris’ excellent book too.
Which brings us to the……
ACTivation POINT!
SO …………………………..
How about YOU?
What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?
Just for today I will ………………………
If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?
I am a student of ACT. I am on a journey. I would love you to join me.
With all good wishes
Corinne
Wonderful to have you back !!
LikeLike
Thank you so much. It is so good to be back connecting and it is all about connections isn’t it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is indeed!!! 🙂
LikeLike
Being with good friends puts the sparkle in my life. True friendship has more value than any material goodies and I feel rich in friends xxx
LikeLike
Well said! Good friends are worth their weight in gold and worth every penny of time invested in nurturing precious relationships. Xx
LikeLike
I am really enjoying this series, Corinne. I feel it speaks to all of us! The whole thing about taking it back to what we value–very true. I think we often look outwards for something to change or bring us back, when we can just sort of look inward and look at what we value. I feel I find my sparkle in surrounding myself with those I love or doing something that makes me feel I can be myself. When I start to let worries sneak in, it all snowballs, but if I really just enjoy my time with others or going out by the lake on a walk on my own, I feel reconnected. And if it doesn’t last, I do it again!
LikeLike
Hi Gabriela
Lovely to hear from you. Like you, if I feel jaded then I try to remember to take time to reconnect with what really matters. When I get over busy, and I like to be busy, that’s when I can go off track. But I do have a tendency to get over enthusiastic about things and then run out of steam. I am trying to be more balanced!! Xx
LikeLike