ACT and PERFECTIONISM

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT) – An Online Resource

Q:  I’m such a perfectionist.  How can I get over myself?

A:  Just do it!  There’s no such thing as perfection.

I used to think that being a perfectionist was a good thing to be.  It isn’t!  It’s a burden and it weighs a ton!

Perfectionists pride themselves on their high standards, but the flip-side is that they often fail to make a start and get things done.  They never feel good enough.

Perfectionists say that they are only interested in the best things in life, but the flip-side is that they miss out on all those lovely little treasures, the “beautiful ordinary”, which is everywhere if they just look.  Life never feels good enough.

Perfectionists expect people to be at their best all of the time, especially in regards to them, but the flip-side is that they cut themselves off from the warmth of real relationships.   People are never good enough.

You get the picture???

The life of a perfectionist isn’t much fun.  It is filled with criticism, of one-self and of others, it is full of disappointment and regret and there is always a feeling that things could be better, we could be better, life could be better.  It’s all a bit of a let-down.

For those perfectionists amongst you who suspect that perfectionism is not really working for you, that in fact it is costing you dear, help is at hand.

ACT is not a fan of perfectionism.  In fact it regards it as a problematic thinking style.  More of that in the next post!

HOW ABOUT YOU?

  • Do you suspect that perfectionism might be getting in the way of your happiness?
  • Are you getting tired of lugging around this burden?
  • Have you found ways of reducing its impact in your life?
  • What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

POEM FOR TODAY

Taking the plunge

TAKING THE PLUNGE

Sometimes it’s time to start it, this new project, this new plan,

Sometimes it’s time to take the plunge right now, while we still can,

For it’s easy to prevaricate, to keep on sitting tight,

But sometimes it’s time to start it even though the time’s not right.

For perfection is not possible, we can’t always prepare

For each unexplored imponderable that waits for us out there,

For there’s a panoply of variables that we cannot control,

But the only way to build is bit by bit to make a whole.

So if we have got a project or a plan kept under wraps,

Let’s let go the old excuses, the what ifs and the perhaps

And let’s make a new commitment that we’ll start instead to do

What is necessary daily until we have seen it through.

© Corinne Shields, 2015

If you enjoyed “Taking the Plunge” please pass it on, and do leave your comments.  I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go ……………….

A final word from ACT

If you would like to find out more about ACT and Perfectionism I recommend you head over to Joseph Rhineman’s site and view his video.  I found it very interesting and I think you will too.

Which leads us to the …………………………..

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………………………….

Perfectionism

If you have read this far please leave your comments.  How is ACT helping you?

I am on an ACT journey and I would love you to join me.

With all good wishes

Corinne

 

 

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Published by

Corinne Shields

I am a wife, mother, grandmother, erstwhile teacher for thirty plus years, and permanent student. I have long been interested in psychology and spirituality and enjoy writing inspirational poetry. Hence the publication of this blog at ACT Made Lyrical.com. I play golf badly, piano a little better and I love reading, writing, and all things French. I divide my time between Wales and France and enjoy travelling with my husband, Len and my dog Charlie.

5 thoughts on “ACT and PERFECTIONISM”

  1. I love this one and can identify fully with its sentiment. Since my wobble last year when perfectionism took its hold on me, I have let go and accept that good is good enough! I feel happier and liberated since dropping the burden of this ridiculous compulsion. Of course, you played your part in my renaissance for which I’m eternally grateful xx

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    1. We shall have to continue to support each other!! Perfectionism is a deadly disease and once you have it you have to keep a wary eye on it to stop it returning. Daily doses of immunisation will be necessary but worth it if it means we lead richer life. And as you say, it is really liberating to let go of this “ridiculous compulsion”. As ever, a lovely turn of phrase. xx

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  2. Thank you Corinne. It’s a great post. I find it inspiring and edifying. I like the way you make it rich with quotes and poems and pics. Bravo! excellence is good but if you want to wait until it is perfect, forget. You will never do it. Blessings!

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  3. Hi Ngobesing. Lovely to hear from you and I am so glad you enjoyed the post. As you say excellence is good and worth pursuing, but perfection is a fool’s errand. Perfectionism, as my good friend Anonymous reminds us, is a “ridiculous compulsion” and, once laid down all sorts of exciting opportunities open up for us. Blessings to you too!

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